2017 · Attitude · brenna gimler · Cold Running · happiness · Morning Running · Off Season Workouts · running · Running Friends

My Idea of Fun!

So these days I look forward to runs because I’m not in training.  I can run whatever I want and mostly I choose to run 3 miles because it’s fast, easy and enough to make me feel like I did something.  Today it was 25 degrees so I layered up probably just shy of too many layers but it was ok.  I headed out knowing they were running the Frosty Half Marathon which goes right past the end of my neighborhood on two sides.  I wasn’t sure I’d see the beginning or any runners at all since it was past 8 o’clock.  When I got to the end of my street one of the race volunteers laughed and told me to join the race and run in the other direction.  I giggled and told her I would be first….yeah for about 5 minutes until they caught up to me!  So down the road I go and there are cop cars with their lights on which tells me  they haven’t started yet.  BONUS!  I’ll see the beginning of the race and maybe i’ll stop to cheer.  When I see the first runner I decide I’m not stopping to cheer…. I”m running right through the crowd of runners cheering and hollering and giving high 5’s to everyone and that is exactly what I did!  It was so much fun!  Everyone smiled and gave me a high 5 back and I like to think I helped start their race off on the right foot.  The penalty for screaming and running and high fiving is that I lost my breath control for most of the rest of the way home, but it was worth it!  I wish I had my Frosty Half hat on today because then it would have at least told them that I was a fellow Frosty alum but no one cares anyway so it’s all good fun.  I can’t help myself when it comes to being excited and animated.  I’m not very grown up for my age but I wouldn’t change a thing.  My son tells me that I need to tone it down at his wrestling matches too.  I’m not real good at being quiet but why should I be?  I’m animated and loud and sarcastic and funny and that’s what I like best about me.  I’ve passed the time where I care what people think of me.  I’m past trying to make other people happy all the time.  I’ve learned to love life, people and the moments in life, like today, that become something you hold on to.  If you get the chance, run through a pack of runners in a race cheering.  It’s a refreshing and somewhat exhilarating experience that shakes out the ordinary in a day.

HAPPY RUNNING!

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Random Thoughts

2-Fers

Why is it that a run seems so much easier when it’s with or for someone else?  Yesterday I did 3 miles at 5am but then got invited to do a Runch with my Bad Ass B Barbara.  I never even hesitated to accept the invitation because it made me proud to be invited and happy that I’d get a 2 fer in.  Now we ran the same route that I always run at lunch but today just felt easy.  Maybe it’s because I had someone to talk to who made me laugh for 30 mintes.  Maybe it was because for me it was a great slow pace that my legs didn’t complain about only having done the same thing just hours before.  Maybe it just didn’t matter because it wasn’t my run.  The sky was clear, the sun was out and for Nov 29th it was amazing to be out there putting up miles.  I’m approaching 900 miles for the year and that’s 200 more than I’ve ever run before.  Run the year may have been done in July but it motivated me in conjunction with a ton of  races to just keep running.  Keep getting out there.  I could have kept going if it weren’t for that stupid thing called a lunch HOUR.  Sadly it ended sooner that I would have liked but it made the rest of the day just awesome and that was a big thumbs up.

HAPPY RUNNING!

Random Thoughts

CHECK! It Makes for a Great Run!

It’s so nice to be outside in November in a 56 degree morning in the dark, with your little silly headlight more so you don’t fall on your face than so people can see you.  It’s mornings like these that really make me miss Spring and Summer when it’s warm and I can practically go running naked.  It was balmy out today and it felt perfect for me.  Everything is seemingly happy.  I am well into being done shopping for my husband for Christmas.  He usually does most of the shopping for the kids.  For whatever reason it has just worked that he has great taste and I usually love what he gets.  Funny that is the opposite of what many households do.  We talk about it and make a list together but he always is thoughtful.  Anyway, I am 2/3 of the way done with what I’m usually panicked about finishing. CHECK!  I have a great job but my great job now has new responsibilities that I really am enjoying and that keep my mind busy all day long.  When I’m not thinking and busy all day I begin to get bored.  When I feel unneeded I begin wondering why I’m doing what I’m doing and I become unhappy.  I was beginning to be unhappy until I convinced my boss, who is thankfully very receptive to good ideas, that the upper management needed me to take on a role that I suggested would benefit them.  Now I’m doing what I do best and making a difference in a very impactful way.  CHECK!  I am once again socializing and have some great friends in place.  I divorced my friends a few years ago to deal with some serious personal problems.  I didn’t want input from anyone because I knew only my decisions and my opinions were going to make it better.  I was not happy for a very long time but now I have a new attitude, thicker skin with a fuck it attitude where it needs to exist and peace in my heart and soul plugging what used to be a giant cancerous hole eating away at me.

I have chosen friends that I trust and friends that mean specific things to me.  I don’t have many but the few I have mean a lot to me and I’m so happy to have them!  CHECK!  I am adjusting to the new relationship with my now all adult children.  It’s hard to go from being the boss to being the bystander who only can offer advice instead of make the decisions.  I am finding that I really like who my children are and I enjoy spending time with them.  I like this role much better in a way.  CHECK! I am also enjoying my husband more now and have a different outlook on him and on our life together.  I have grown through out trials in the last few years and the two of us are in a better place individually and a better place together.  I like him again and I have re-discovered his funny side, cute side, happy side.  I better understand his hard shell and can tolerate his tough side better.  I care less about things that once nearly and literally killed me and I am simply enjoying my partner in life one day at a time.  CHECK!

All this happiness followed me today as I ran my 3 morning miles.  Happiness that wraps me in a hug, happiness that makes me feel ok now, happiness that allows me to run free of fear and sadness and anger now.  Happiness that allows me to enjoy where I am in life.  Happiness that is Sharon, Barbara, Cherrie, Paula, Katy, John, James and Rob that makes my soul smile and my heart warm and wonderfully joyful.  I am truly lucky and today my run was great because of the good things in my life right now.  So Happy!

HAPPY RUNNING!

Random Thoughts

Thankful For My House

Today’s run started out with some tears.  My youngest son & child James will play his last game of football ever at the annual Thanksgiving football game against Brockton.  No more towing the line, no more freezing our asses off on Friday nights, no more football. I am sad that this day is here because I love watching him play.  I loved every minute of this game that he didn’t even want to play but did because his brother convinced him to & his parents told him he had to do something with sports to stay active in the Fall.  Today when he runs out on the field as a Senior I will be filled with pride and tears and sentiment that will now be just memories that I talk about for years to come.  Just like that it’s over with no more “next year” or “next game” to come but I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to watch him grow into the man he has become.  He finally fits in his own skin and that is something to definitely be thankful for.  As I think about his last 6 months of high school that will fly by all I can see are things like the big fish he caught when he was 6 or the way he used to put his shoes on the wrong feet.  Digging 4 foot holes and following his brother around everywhere just to be with him.  So many memories in the walls of this house that linger like bacon as a reminder of what has been.

As I run I am also grateful for my daughter Katy who is now engaged.  That too seems to have crept up on me like deer in the fog.  She found someone who makes her happy and treats her well and now she will begin building her life with her prince. All the time she worried about finding someone and he just showed up and that was that.  She’s now on a different but parallel path to mine and in my heart I wish she were still holding my hand.  It is nearing the end of her college life and then it’s just life that she will determine the path of.  Life that I no longer have much influence over.  Girl movies and 10 year old birthday parties with movie themes, sleepovers with cat and dog themes, and shopping dates to the mall.  3rd grade socials with her hair all curly and fancy and she always asked me to do it for her.  4am Mornings being dragged out of bed to show me that she made me a little candle.  There was a mess on the table but she was so proud of what she had done that it made me cry even to this day.  She still asks me to sew and today I will because I feel happy that she still wants me to help her.  I am thankful for the memories this house holds of her and all the silly happy sad mad crazy moments that fill these walls.

On I run and I think about my oldest son John who is home from college for the holiday.  My little boy who is now a man but just a sweet kid on the inside of that tough exterior.  It took me a long time to find the little wide eyed little legged boy inside that man who is so independent and smart.  My middle child.  The only one I went nose to nose with on many occasions.  The one who I never worry about and miss so much every time he leaves.

This house has so many flashbacks of him that come to me often.  Hanging upside down in the trees, climbing to the top, strapping Macaco between trees and walking like a tightrope walker.  American Ninja Warrior in my backyard, always moving with some kind of ball in his hand and never sitting still.  The kid who always breaks things who has the heart of a lion and just never gives up.  He always strives for more.  What I see in him now is the kid who notices things I need or moments when I need a hug or does things just to make me happy and I see my little 3 foot boy with the bright eyes looking back. The graduation cap fiasco that made him so upset that turned into nothing.  The Eagle Scout project, girlfriends, a drivers license date memory and so many more good, sad, mad moments that make this house a home.   In every room there is a memory of sorts from school days, sports days, Scout days and I remember them all as I walk through my house.  I am thankful for the memories we have put here as a family.

Finally I think about my husband as my little 3 mile journey continues.  So many memories we built together.  Children brought home, raised, groomed, disciplined, taught, fought, played with and loved so much.  He paints my house as I write this because he loves me.  He has loved me forever it seems and although it hasn’t always been good between us, it has always been.   Love runs deep between us.  When we said I do we meant it and we have forged a life together with our children and now their significant others that is so happy and bright.  He has always been here for us.  He loves us and works hard to provide all we need.  He is my best friend and I love that he is the first person I see in the morning and the last person I see at night.  He is forever thinking about me and us and how to make us a better family.  I never need anything and the person he has become in the last 5 years is the person I want spend forever with.  Hard lessons and tough moments only made us stronger together.  We appreciate one another.  The memories of baseball and frisbee in the backyard with a fire in the non existent fire pit are many.  Putting up fences, planting trees, landscaping, mowing, putting up christmas lights and watching movies as a family are the cement in these walls.  It’s what makes us strong and keeps us wanting to keep building this family, adding memories to these walls for the next generation.  I am thankful for my house today because in my house is my family, my history and my life and that is all that matters to me.   I thank God for all I have today and every day.  I am truly one lucky runner girl!

HAPPY RUNNING!

 

 

 

I feel nostalgic for this as well.  So many little moments when she was little come to mine.  So many memories and achievements that are within the walls of this house that I can see like a dream in every room.  Talks and fun times and achievements that she

Random Thoughts

Magic Pants

So I’m two weeks out from VT and up until now I thought my legs were hating on me from that hellacious run.  As it turns out I think it’s my new CW-X compression pants that are tiring my legs out.  Why do I think this?  Because I ran this week without them and my legs were not nearly as tired feeling as they are when I have these pants on.

If you think about it, it makes sense.  Put pressure around your bicep and then try to lift something repetitively.  It’s much harder.  It’s like using a weight sled or a parachute trainer to increase your speed.  I hadn’t given it much thought until I just couldn’t figure out why my legs would still be complaining about that race.  So now, do I keep using them hoping they strengthen my leg muscles?  Do I only use them for long runs? I think both actually because even though it’s much harder to run in these, it will make next season easier I think.  I’m all for that so HAIL to the compression! I’ve already signed up for a half marathon in March so this winter with these pants should prove useful.  In a way these are like Jacks magic beans.  They looked like ordinary beans but then they grew into something amazingly magic.  They are my magic pants!

HAPPY RUNNING!

Random Thoughts

What is it That We See?

Why is it that I never see what other people see?  When I look in the mirror I see someone who isn’t “fat” but is fatter than she used to be before she cared about anything physical or graduated High School.  Boy would I love to see 135 lbs again but I’m settling for 165 at the moment.  165 looks ok on me, not perfect, but acceptable.

Female mirror on color background

When I look in the mirror I see some abdominal definition that stops at the speed bump just below my belly button.  I see an imperfect lower ab that honestly I’m just too effing lazy to make disappear.  I have a hard time with a pinch in my ass and pain in my lower back when I crunch even on my exercise ball so I don’t put that much into anything south of what used to be a perfect navel.  Seriously it used to be perfect!  I don’t care THAT much. I just want to not look like the fat lady in the grocery store or the fat mother who squishes when you hug her.  When I look in the mirror I am reminded about all the work I have left to do and begin the diatribe in my head about working harder.  I’m pretty much the meanest person on the planet to myself but I don’t go all rogue or anorexic or starve myself or anything.  Just some tough love.  So when I look in the mirror I’m motivated to do better every day to the thigh gap I’m never going to attain but like to think I will.  Last night I was changing into my pajamas and my husband said “what’s up musclular”.  I felt like turning around to see who he was talking to but I knew it was me.  Muscular?  What’s he looking at?  His eyes must be worse than I thought because that isn’t what I see when I look at myself in the mirror.  Why don’t I see what he sees?

Probably because I don’t want to get complacent and fat again.  Inside I smiled a big ol’ school girl grin and simply said “it’s working”.  He tells me I have steel plates for thigh muscles, not quite that true but not the marshmallow mush I see.  He says I’ve never been this “tight” in the 30 years that he’s known me but I see the rolling hills of North Dakota staring back at me.  Of course they’re not the mountains of Colorado but somewhere in between.  Just what is it that we see when we look in the mirror?  Why is it so different and is that a bad thing?  I think a little of that is ok.  I don’t have a hugely warped sense of self, just a very honest and clear view which admittedly might be wound a little too tight.  Better tight than loose!  So we keep working to improve the person staring back from the mirror.  We strive to be better and tighter and fitter so we live a little longer.  It gives me something to always work on and I do love me a good project for sure!

HAPPY RUNNING!

2017 · Attitude · brenna gimler · Coaching · commitments · Discipline · happiness · Life

This Runner is Never Happy!

I had the usual disagreement with myself this morning that I have every off season.  My brain said do more and go for 5-6 miles but I interrupted myself and reminded me that it’s off season.  Off season is meant for rest from mostly running and more of stuff like my bike and swimming and weight training.  I wanted to keep one day where my miles are up but what heppens when I don’t?  Nothing, that’s what.  I’ve had a week away from VT and that hellacious hill and still my legs are flipping me off when I head out on the most flat 3 mile course comparedly.  My legs are pissed at me! As I headed out to beat the rain that’s coming in I just kept telling myself that 3 was good and the standard 3 miles is what it’s pretty much what my runs are going to be for at least a couple of weeks.  It’s funny how during training I complain about the long runs and sometimes even dread them and when I have the opportunity to keep it light, I’m arguing with myself about keeping it low because all I want to do is put up some digits.  It seems as though I’m never happy.  I never want to rest, sit still or keep it light.  When I do I’m beating myself up to try harder and not get lazy and I’m always pushing myself.  In a way I do like being my own motivator.  Mike & Mike  actually talked about that today detailing how some players in the NFL think it’s the coaches job to motivate them.  I couldn’t disagree more.  I think when a player / runner / athlete needs it, that a “coach” should step in and give them a pep talk but for the most part, that player /runner /athlete’s job is to motivate themselves.  I never look to anyone to motivate me except the old me.  The fat lazy depressed person who tried to take my cookies and make me quit.  The girl that’s always behind me as a reminder from where I came and where I do NOT want to go back to.  Whatever makes you go is fine.  You should be self motivated and never being happy with where you’re at is ok as long as you aren’t doing so much that you make yourself sick or injure yourself.  I may never be happy but I belive I have the right mix for me to keep striving for more.  Be the best me I can be  and enjoy it along the way until the day where I decide that it’s time to stop, if I get to that point.  I may never be perfectly satisfied & happy with what I’m doing,  but I’m happy where I am.   The point it that I’m happy never being happy because being unhappy with where I’m at is what motivates me to do more, be more, strive for more and THAT makes me very happy!

HAPPY RUNNING!