My off day has come all too soon again. It’s Sunday and I dislike this day most, even over my other off day that I have which usually falls on Friday. Sunday has grown into a day where I feel like a little kid lost in the department store wandering around in familiar setting but wishing that I had that familiar feeling of a parent’s hand holding mine. Like taking a walk and realizing that you wandered away from the group and wishing you could find them. This is my challenging day and I try hard to find things to do to keep my mind busy so I don’t let my mind run wild with its imagination. I am in some kind of transition in my life that only God knows about. It is full of lessons and acceptance and forgiveness that I must do a better job at practicing. It’s full of learning more giving and less selfishness that I must think about and learn to apply more often. I can feel the shift in my world like the beginning movement of an amusement ride. I can’t explain it but I know God is real and he is most definitely in charge. I’ve felt him before but I can literally feel this. He is bringing people that I need closer. People that I never knew, people that I stopped making effort to keep in contact with, people that are in greater need than myself. I have my theories on the why behind this but it is not for me to put meaning behind. My job is to accept what is being changed and make it part of my everyday. I know this as sure as the sun rises each day. I am not one to go with the whole surprise thing well but this I will do because for some reason I know I will have the people that I will need when the time comes If I should fall, these people will catch me and help me get through whatever the challenge may be. I know this.
I’m finding that music on Sunday makes me happy. It’s September and we are back in our church routine so finding music on Sunday is fairly easy. It is the 5am – 8am time that is the most quiet. I watch the sun rise, birds sing, children rise and get ready for the day as I read or check in with my social friends. Today I listen to For King and Country. They are easy listening that speaks to faith and the road less travelled. Today I put them on and they are like a lovely medicinal melody that fills the air and my heart. It’s kind of like running actually. Running takes me to a place where I am strong and there is only myself to worry about. That place where I can think without the phone, tv, kids needing one thing or another, work, life. It’s like being somewhere else. I decided to listen to more of their work and my feet are bobbing to the beat as my fingers type these words. I love music and like many other people in the world, music has unique meaning to each of us. We find the music that fits our situation and hang on to it sometimes for dear life. Although it is Sunday it feels ok today. It doesn’t every Sunday but today I feel as good as the sun on the branches outside looks. Maybe it’s a combination of all things going on. Maybe it’s my son learning to play a Billy Joel song and working hard to master it, maybe it’s my daughter flitting around with that smile she has that looks like mine or my other son who just makes me smile in all his greatness (he’s a big boy meaning he’s going to be around 6″ 5′ and he’s well on his way) Perhaps it is a big hug that I got as he left this morning for his own morning. I like to think it was lots of things including all this wonderful music that is so happy to hear. These Sundays are better than the ones a few years ago and all the ones to come which will be better as well i hope. Faith, music and believing in something I cannot control will make that last statement a true statement. Life is so much bigger than my 150 lbs of creation in this little humble home in a small town in MA. I have work to do.
So although today is not a running day for me, and I do wish it were, it’s all good. So many good things around me.