Random Thoughts

What I always find on the road

what I find on the roadI work a lot of things out on the road.  When I’m mad I run.  When I’m sad I run.  When I’m confused or happy I run.  It’s just what I’ve come to do as I have journeyed through this running thing.  I don’t know if I find wisdom on the road truly or if I take wisdom to the road and apply it to a problem.  Perhaps I just think about things and pick them apart with analysis and thought and work through them as I pound away the miles.  Sometimes I’m pondering someone else’s challenges and whether or not I let them work through it or intervene to assist in working it out.  Sometimes you just have to let the process play out and let people have their own beliefs and others have opinions of those beliefs and just offer up a hug with no excuses for those causing the pain that another person feels.  I can’t fix everything nor can I make people “understand” things the way I do.  Maybe I just accept things and have adjusted to the fact that they won’t change.  Some are not there yet and are just learning to deal with the emotional lashings of others and life that serve up shit burgers.  Some are opinionated & cruel with their words that are bare-boned black and white colorless wire framed harsh assessments of a moment in time.  My job is to tamper that hurt with optimism that nothing is set in stone and the world is whatever they make it.  For the first time in my life I was forced to tell someone I love to use the hurt they felt as motivation and “prove the instigator wrong”.  I shouldn’t have to do that because people shouldn’t say those things to others but some are wired differently from the rest of the world and just don’t get it.  I feel my role is to keep optimism and positivity alive for those who need it and I find that strength on the road.  I choose to help those in need as often as I can.  Am I wrong in not trying to change the ones who don’t get it?  I would if I thought it would matter but I know when something is a losing battle that is unwinnable.  I am forever an optimist but there are just things that must be left alone.  Those people are making a bed that they may not want to lie in someday but that’s on them.  I can only work on my bed.  These challenges are what I contemplate when I run.  I guess sometimes I run for wisdom and strength and faith and patience and to figure out my job here on earth while I am lucky enough to be here.  Sometimes I run to find anything helpful for the people that matter to me for when they need it.  Sometimes I run to find it in my heart to keep accepting those who don’t get it and to discard negativity and remember why I am needed in their lives too.  Sometimes I just run to be with myself and fat Brenna who is always behind me.  I run for both of us because she helped me find myself again when I was lost.  We run together a few strides apart and that’s perfect.  I guess I run to accept me sometimes.  Acceptance is a hard lesson to learn.  It’s much easier to eliminate to stop the pain that but in a weird sort of way, pain is a teacher of great lessons and wisdom so I choose to accept and teach others to as well.  I don’t know if I would call what I find on the road each time peace but that seems like a nice word to sum it all up don’t you think?  Get out there and find your whatever it is and be happy.



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