Today I got up and could barely keep my eyes open. It had rained and I used the possible puddles as an excuse to not run today. I zombied my way through making breakfast and showering and getting to work. I feel like I was in slow motion all day. If there were a fire drill I would probably have been the last one out the door. All day I thought about running and I seriously struggled with having thrown in the towel so easily just because I was what I called exhausted. I played devil’s advocate with myself like I would have with anyone I was encouraging. I reassured myself that rest days are good and necessary for healthy improvement. I know this and I believed it but I just couldn’t put it to rest. I kept thinking about working at my son’s school tonight on play props and how that would keep me from doing something stupid.
Still wasn’t buying it…still felt like I could do something, anything other than resting. It does not feel like my rest day. Tomorrow might but today just didn’t feel that way so I went with my gut. I got home and decided not to go to the school. As I sat outside watching my husband mulch the leaves I just felt like it was a wonderful evening to get a few miles in. When he left I didn’t sit on the couch, I didn’t go to bed, I didn’t eat dinner.
I changed my clothes and slipped on my running shoes and headed out before I could change my mind. I figured it would either go my way OR really poorly and tomorrow I will be paying for it. Good thing it paid off in my favor. Good thing I don’t take excuses and a really good thing that I know when to push myself beyond my mental comfort zone. Running has taught me what my limits are. Running has given me the strength to push my limits and to understand when it is ok and not ok to do so. I love running for so many
reasons. It makes me proud of myself and confident that I can do things I never thought I could. It has saved me and shaped me and has seen me through some pretty shitty times. Running is the greatest teacher, cheapest therapist and most devoted support system. I am so happy to have run that first mile back on 6/27/2011 and that I have not looked back.