It's A Journey!

Finding My Limit

Day 4 in the backwoods of VA and it finally arrived.  My threshold for when I start to miss my family.  I love it here because it’s serene and beautiful and it’s the only time i will spend with my parents and sister perhaps for another year.  Life is busy and I come as often as I can but it’s starting to feel like a lifetime between visits now that my dad is getting older.  I knew it would eventually show up, tugging at my heart at some point making me homesick for the things that keep me busy, drive me crazy and helped prompt me to come down in the first place.  I love my life and all the craziness it brings but sometimes I just want to get away from it so I can’t do it.  So I have to do nothing but sit and reflect on it.  Maybe it’s God’s way of giving me perspective and appreciation for those things so that I don’t become bitter or obsessive in a bad way.  Maybe I needed a break, in fact I know I did.  My son’s Eagle project is making me mad and I’m too involved.  Time to step away Brenna.  Maybe I came because my father has been diagnosed with the onset of Dementia and  I want to spend some time with all his quirky annoying habits while he remembers me.  Maybe I just miss my mother and my sister.  Either way I’m here again and happy to be so.  I’m enjoying it but home is now calling.  Four days in and now I’m waking up in the middle of the night texting them that I miss them and lying awake wishing I could hug them.  I especially miss my sons, James in particular because I can’t talk to him or text him so there’s just nothing there.  He’s away with the Scouts and they aren’t allowed electronics during their trips so it’s like going cold turkey with him and I’m not a fan.  I think about  all of them on my peaceful runs every morning, hoping they have happy days and good experiences.  I talk to my daughter and husband every day which is comforting.  I started off thinking about my life during my morning runs on these quiet roads but now in just these few days it’s drifted to thoughts of my wonderful family and about how much I love and now miss each of them.  Well, I suppose if I didn’t think about them or miss them that would be a different problem that would need solving.  Perhaps I could work that out on the road too as I have worked so many things through out there.  I feel like I can solve anything by just throwing my running shoes on and heading out for a nice long run.  They weren’t kidding when they came up with the slogan that running is cheaper than therapy!  The great road is wise and strong and comforting for me and as I have many times I will step out there seeking it’s solace to self medicate through running.  As much as I like the peaceful roads of VA I will be happy to once again to be on the rural roads of Mass.  I love running no matter where I am.

HAPPY RUNNING!

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