So today I woke up before my 4:45 alarm to the sound of wind and what was probably sideways stinging rain. I realized that running outside was not a smart idea so I decided to go to the gym to use the treadmill instead. Now I pretty much hate the DM but on days like this and others in the winter where there is no where to run, I appreciate my gym membership quite a bit. There are some other things I like it for like spin class. I have a stationary spin bike at home but I don’t work it like I do when I go to the gym. I also appreciate the pool for some cardio, the sauna sometimes to relax, the stairmaster for punishment, fitness classes of many kinds for whenever I’m having a whim moment. Mostly my appreciation is for that damn DM because it’s always there when I need it. Today was one of those days. As I tossed on my gear and grabbed my keys I took this picture of the clock on the stove in my kitchen. This is the line between dedication and a hobby. I’m up because I have limited time to fit in a workout these days so it’s either 4:49 or not at all. Wanting it and doing it are very different. It’s like the people on the DM that walk while holding on, no incline and no sweat. Those are the people that wonder why they aren’t reaching their goals. It’s because they aren’t working hard enough for it. I don’t mean to sound like an asshole but really, no sweat, no elevated heart rate, no sore muscles = no achievement. You have to actually put effort into it which includes getting up at 4:30 to get to the gym to sweat. I can’t carry on a conversation without huffing and puffing when I’m running, street or DM. I don’t go to the gym to talk to my friends, I go to the gym to improve myself. Now I don’t know anyone’s situation so there could be extenuating circumstances like coming back from a heart attack or surgery, however, in general there is a definite line between casual fitness….NO! no no no no no! I can’t even use those words together because fitness isn’t casual. How about there is a difference between moving and dedicated fitness. Today that line for me was 4:49 am as I stepped out into a morning that undoubtedly would have ended in some kind of negative result. Today I realized that dedication has set into who I have become from someone who no longer exists. It’s just part of my being now. I don’t even think about it. I just do it day after day working toward an invisible and undefined goal that changes all the time. 4:49 is what sets me aside from everyone else who just talks about it, complains about it instead of doing it. 4:49 is the strength of the lotus that rises up from the mud at the bottom of the pond to bloom on the surface into a beautiful flower. I am the lotus and 4:49 is the fire in the pit of my belly that burns strong like the eternal flame that always reminds me where I have been and why I do what I do. 4:49 is the bar that I always reach for that is just out of reach but always reachable. 4:49 is the line between dedication and a hobby, doing and not doing, wasting energy and getting results. I am 4:49!