God, lately I feel like a new runner. Sunday’s race left me struggling in my head with why I felt like the race was such a challenge. In my head I knew I was ready but the rest of me didn’t feel quite as confident. I hate dwelling on the what if’s but what if’s are different than circumstances that change the outcome of something if you grasp my meaning. Let’s see…. I haven’t done a good core workout in weeks. Shame on me but that would definitely have something to do with it feeling more challenging. I’m a week out from the monthly burden which means water retention, bloating, heavy legs which won’t get better until AFTER VT. Great! I think I need new sneakers because the backs of my legs were killing me. I went back and YES I do need them. I bought them in June…JUNE!!!!!! What the hell! I am usually more on my gear game. So I’ve messaged my niece to see if she can look for my shoes and head up there at lunch to get a replacement pair. Not smart but fixable. The hills are always challenging but the thing that killed me was how quickly I stopped to walk. I’m usually more headstrong but the hills got in my head. I also was putting off peeing until I had to stop. I had no coffee before the race and I peed 3 times before the gun and even at that I still had to pee on the course. I put it off until I thought I was at the last port-o-potty and then I went. The whole run that took my mind off my race and just added to the overall feeling of unreadiness that I felt. I have also had to give up some workouts because of the show and being at the high school every night. Having workouts on the bookends of my day has been very helpful until this point but in the last 2 weeks it’s been limited to only one per day and most of those are running days. This is not the way I wanted to end my running year but all of it together added up to making me feel like a beginner which I’m not. Overall a good year, definitely lessons and changes to be made for next year.