Today’s run started out with some tears. My youngest son & child James will play his last game of football ever at the annual Thanksgiving football game against Brockton. No more towing the line, no more freezing our asses off on Friday nights, no more football. I am sad that this day is here because I love watching him play. I loved every minute of this game that he didn’t even want to play but did because his brother convinced him to & his parents told him he had to do something with sports to stay active in the Fall. Today when he runs out on the field as a Senior I will be filled with pride and tears and sentiment that will now be just memories that I talk about for years to come. Just like that it’s over with no more “next year” or “next game” to come but I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to watch him grow into the man he has become. He finally fits in his own skin and that is something to definitely be thankful for. As I think about his last 6 months of high school that will fly by all I can see are things like the big fish he caught when he was 6 or the way he used to put his shoes on the wrong feet. Digging 4 foot holes and following his brother around everywhere just to be with him. So many memories in the walls of this house that linger like bacon as a reminder of what has been.
As I run I am also grateful for my daughter Katy who is now engaged. That too seems to have crept up on me like deer in the fog. She found someone who makes her happy and treats her well and now she will begin building her life with her prince. All the time she worried about finding someone and he just showed up and that was that. She’s now on a different but parallel path to mine and in my heart I wish she were still holding my hand. It is nearing the end of her college life and then it’s just life that she will determine the path of. Life that I no longer have much influence over. Girl movies and 10 year old birthday parties with movie themes, sleepovers with cat and dog themes, and shopping dates to the mall. 3rd grade socials with her hair all curly and fancy and she always asked me to do it for her. 4am Mornings being dragged out of bed to show me that she made me a little candle. There was a mess on the table but she was so proud of what she had done that it made me cry even to this day. She still asks me to sew and today I will because I feel happy that she still wants me to help her. I am thankful for the memories this house holds of her and all the silly happy sad mad crazy moments that fill these walls.
On I run and I think about my oldest son John who is home from college for the holiday. My little boy who is now a man but just a sweet kid on the inside of that tough exterior. It took me a long time to find the little wide eyed little legged boy inside that man who is so independent and smart. My middle child. The only one I went nose to nose with on many occasions. The one who I never worry about and miss so much every time he leaves.
This house has so many flashbacks of him that come to me often. Hanging upside down in the trees, climbing to the top, strapping Macaco between trees and walking like a tightrope walker. American Ninja Warrior in my backyard, always moving with some kind of ball in his hand and never sitting still. The kid who always breaks things who has the heart of a lion and just never gives up. He always strives for more. What I see in him now is the kid who notices things I need or moments when I need a hug or does things just to make me happy and I see my little 3 foot boy with the bright eyes looking back. The graduation cap fiasco that made him so upset that turned into nothing. The Eagle Scout project, girlfriends, a drivers license date memory and so many more good, sad, mad moments that make this house a home. In every room there is a memory of sorts from school days, sports days, Scout days and I remember them all as I walk through my house. I am thankful for the memories we have put here as a family.
Finally I think about my husband as my little 3 mile journey continues. So many memories we built together. Children brought home, raised, groomed, disciplined, taught, fought, played with and loved so much. He paints my house as I write this because he loves me. He has loved me forever it seems and although it hasn’t always been good between us, it has always been. Love runs deep between us. When we said I do we meant it and we have forged a life together with our children and now their significant others that is so happy and bright. He has always been here for us. He loves us and works hard to provide all we need. He is my best friend and I love that he is the first person I see in the morning and the last person I see at night. He is forever thinking about me and us and how to make us a better family. I never need anything and the person he has become in the last 5 years is the person I want spend forever with. Hard lessons and tough moments only made us stronger together. We appreciate one another. The memories of baseball and frisbee in the backyard with a fire in the non existent fire pit are many. Putting up fences, planting trees, landscaping, mowing, putting up christmas lights and watching movies as a family are the cement in these walls. It’s what makes us strong and keeps us wanting to keep building this family, adding memories to these walls for the next generation. I am thankful for my house today because in my house is my family, my history and my life and that is all that matters to me. I thank God for all I have today and every day. I am truly one lucky runner girl!
I feel nostalgic for this as well. So many little moments when she was little come to mine. So many memories and achievements that are within the walls of this house that I can see like a dream in every room. Talks and fun times and achievements that she