It’s so nice to be outside in November in a 56 degree morning in the dark, with your little silly headlight more so you don’t fall on your face than so people can see you. It’s mornings like these that really make me miss Spring and Summer when it’s warm and I can practically go running naked. It was balmy out today and it felt perfect for me. Everything is seemingly happy. I am well into being done shopping for my husband for Christmas. He usually does most of the shopping for the kids. For whatever reason it has just worked that he has great taste and I usually love what he gets. Funny that is the opposite of what many households do. We talk about it and make a list together but he always is thoughtful. Anyway, I am 2/3 of the way done with what I’m usually panicked about finishing. CHECK! I have a great job but my great job now has new responsibilities that I really am enjoying and that keep my mind busy all day long. When I’m not thinking and busy all day I begin to get bored. When I feel unneeded I begin wondering why I’m doing what I’m doing and I become unhappy. I was beginning to be unhappy until I convinced my boss, who is thankfully very receptive to good ideas, that the upper management needed me to take on a role that I suggested would benefit them. Now I’m doing what I do best and making a difference in a very impactful way. CHECK! I am once again socializing and have some great friends in place. I divorced my friends a few years ago to deal with some serious personal problems. I didn’t want input from anyone because I knew only my decisions and my opinions were going to make it better. I was not happy for a very long time but now I have a new attitude, thicker skin with a fuck it attitude where it needs to exist and peace in my heart and soul plugging what used to be a giant cancerous hole eating away at me.
I have chosen friends that I trust and friends that mean specific things to me. I don’t have many but the few I have mean a lot to me and I’m so happy to have them! CHECK! I am adjusting to the new relationship with my now all adult children. It’s hard to go from being the boss to being the bystander who only can offer advice instead of make the decisions. I am finding that I really like who my children are and I enjoy spending time with them. I like this role much better in a way. CHECK! I am also enjoying my husband more now and have a different outlook on him and on our life together. I have grown through out trials in the last few years and the two of us are in a better place individually and a better place together. I like him again and I have re-discovered his funny side, cute side, happy side. I better understand his hard shell and can tolerate his tough side better. I care less about things that once nearly and literally killed me and I am simply enjoying my partner in life one day at a time. CHECK!
All this happiness followed me today as I ran my 3 morning miles. Happiness that wraps me in a hug, happiness that makes me feel ok now, happiness that allows me to run free of fear and sadness and anger now. Happiness that allows me to enjoy where I am in life. Happiness that is Sharon, Barbara, Cherrie, Paula, Katy, John, James and Rob that makes my soul smile and my heart warm and wonderfully joyful. I am truly lucky and today my run was great because of the good things in my life right now. So Happy!