I ran today and it was 40 out when I left. Not too cold and not too warm but mildly cool enough that I needed to keep moving along. I left sort of in a hurry because I was pissed off and needed to get away from the house. Running is a great excuse to step away AND get fit while venting to the tar all my morning woes for the nominal fee of 30 minutes free of charge. My legs still feel like lead and I don’t know if it’s because I’m sick, because I haven’t run much or both. It was another heavy leg day which only makes me want to run more so I can feel better but my legs were not my real challenge. My lungs are actually in control of my lack of running. I can still hear myself wheezing, my throat although not raw or even sore per se doesn’t like the mouth breathing. My runs during this illness are like a throwback to the beginning when it was hard to move because my fat ass was non compliant. I feel so much more wiped out than the days when I’m running a lot and well. Less miles I keep telling myself, will help me heal.
So, today I did something unlike me. I emailed the director for the half marathon I’m registered for in March and asked him if I could withdraw. Yep, I did. Being now 3 weeks behind in long runs is stressing me out and I don’t care about the race that much. I’m not running for a cause so why put myself through that? Who says I HAVE to run it? Me is who and I am in control of what I register to do. I’m not running with my friends so there’s no one to disappoint except me and I would rather not run and have the pressure of struggling to catch up or potentially run a race unready taken away than to kill myself and not enjoy the journey to race day. There you have it. I have requested to withdraw from a race and I feel like it is a good decision for me. This winter has been awful for running. I have done my best with the days I have been given and the rest have been a combination of inside my house and workouts at the gym. That’s what I can manage so that’s what I’m doing. I am ok with not running this half and feel a sudden release of pressure having requested a refund. Sometimes we have to bow out, at least it’s not a DNF… it’s a DNS! Sometimes what is good for us physically is not a mental marriage made in heaven but it’s for the best. So we rest more and keep runs short. We don’t run races for a while and we work harder on weight training which is our 2018 goal anyway.