The one person I hate to hear from when it comes to my weight and my eating is myself. I can be so hard on myself and so mean and make myself lose sleep sometimes. So just one day ago I wrote about my new endeavor taking place in 11 days. I’ve weighed food, measured, counted and been really really good to MyFitness Pal. Now I have deviated a couple of times like the over buttered popcorn two nights ago but I did a super vigorous bike and weight workout that night so I felt like it was ok. Last night I was so good all day and then went to a work function with a friend of mine and pigged out on pizza and of course the car drove itself into this little delightful ice cream shop on the way home. I had most of a sundae until I was full. After each slip I beat myself up bad. Yelling at myself about why bother trying to diet and workout to look and feel better when I’m going to just go and throw it away on a whim of junk food.
I’m right you know, holding myself accountable not only to eating good and sticking to my plan but for the moments when I just throw caution to the wind and eat whatever I want. I use the semi colon for the same reason that the suicide awareness groups use it… to identify that a slip up is just a blip in process and that nothing is over or ended. There’s tomorrow and more opportunities to try again and start over. Brenna bashing doesn’t happen back to back like that all the time but sometimes it does. How can I hit the purchase button on the new bathing suit I’ve picked out if I’m just not going to see it through all the way? I have to do better not just one day or one week but every day. Once in a while junk is ok but I have to stay on track and that’s where my biggest critic will come in handy. Today is a new day. 3 miles down before the heat and on track with what I’ve consumed thus far. Start again….