It's A Journey!

Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

The Bottom Line

One of the things I like about being in my position having come from a weight problem, depression, eating issues and lack of motivation is my ability to speak from experience.  It’s one thing to try and make someone feel better by telling them that they will get there but it’s entirely another to look them in the eye and tell them with complete conviction that only they can reach their goals through making a change.  Telling someone that they have to change their habits and be motivated and determined and focused.  Assuring them with the tone of my voice that it can in fact be done but they have to WANT to do it.  I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it till I die, unless you are in a wheelchair, dying or dead, where there’s a will there’s a way.  Blind people have run marathons, people without limbs compete in all kinds of sports, fat people lose hundreds of pounds without surgery and why?  Because they have sheer determination and will power to do what it takes to get it done.  It’s funny how having experience changes how you say something to someone looking for advice.  Not having experience makes you want to tiptoe around feelings and impressions.  Having experience waives all that because you know how to get it done because you’ve done it and you didn’t accept excuses from yourself and you’re not about to accept them from anyone else.   The bottom line advice is Just Go Do It!  Period.  I did it and so can you!  What are you waiting for?

HAPPY RUNNING!

Your Destination Lies At The End Of The 30 – 60 – 90 Train!

Progress is slow it’s as simple as that.  As much as we would like to see results right away it just can’t happen that fast unless you’re Mama June and even that took time.  I’ve been taking progress pictures of myself since November and some of them look like I’ve made good progress and others just don’t look different at all.  Some days I wonder how I can do more.  Other days I try to switch it up so I am doing some different things so my body is confused and doesn’t get complacent.  Then there are days where I wonder why I do all that I do because let’s face it, I’m 48 and probably not turning too many heads any longer.  I mean I look nice outside thanks to hair dye and makeup and staying fit.  Clothes hide cellulite and sometimes bulges in bad spots so to see me with clothes on is sort of an unfair picture.  I’m not complaining at all because I know how I feel and in fact still hear from people that are impressed with how I do look.  It’s the bathroom mirror that bothers me and all the work that I do that isn’t doing enough that can sometimes be a downer.  My answer to myself is if you want it, work harder.  That really is the answer that I need to own if I want it bad enough.  I want it but I’m not willing to really do a ton more than I am because I care about good health and feeling good, which I am in and do, over trying to look like someone that I’m not.  Even with this realization and understanding I still have the days where I feel defeated.  It doesn’t last long because I live with a child fighting the weight and good health battle.  When I see her trying so hard right now I remember how far I’ve come and remind myself to appreciate where I’m at and do what I can to support her.

I wrote today’s blog because last night she said sort of jokingly that she wished she could see results in a week.   Yeah, don’t we all! That would be great but as we all know, it takes 30 days for you to feel a difference, 60 days to see the difference and 90 days for your friends to see it.  That fact is with a LOT of hard work, dedication and determination.  It will happen but it just takes time.  We have to be patient and do our due diligence to get there plain and simple.  I have always believed that you have to want it bad enough to sacrifice all that you need to in order to get it.  That is where I find that many people struggle because we have become a society of instant gratification and unwillingness to work hard for what we want.  Where there’s a will there’s a way plain and simple, we just need to find it and get it done.  Remember to use the 21 /90 rule to cement your commitment and to go from attempting it to in the habit of it to having a new lifestyle that changes your life!

How bad do you want your goals and what do you sacrifice to achieve them?

HAPPY RUNNING!

Lucy, Paul, Running & Life

I finished the book “When Breath Becomes Air” last night which was written by Paul Kalanithi.  Paul wrote this book because he found out he had terminal cancer and he wanted to document his journey as he faced his own mortality.  He wrote his journey from brilliant Neurosurgeon to Cancer patient.  Paul was quite interested in diving into looking death in the eyes and analyzing what death means and looking at it as a process instead of running away from it.  It is an honest book that I don’t know as if I could have written in the midst of suffering  from Cancer and watching myself wither from health to having people on my death watch just waiting for me to pass to move on.  It’s a good read and something that will not leave my mind.  You should read it.  THIS Ted talk by Lucy Kalanithi is what prompted me to read the book.

I thought about Paul this morning as I headed out to run and I thought about Lucy his widow and Cady his infant daughter who most likely won’t remember her father except in the things her family and her mother share with her.  I thought about my own life and thought about how I read and cried through this book and as my legs carried me over my three miles I confirmed with myself that if I face this same kind of decision in my life, I do NOT want to spend time chasing time if the outcome is sure to be finality.  I would rather spend my time simply talking to my family, and running,  having cookouts and creating memories and laughter than living in a hospital bed.  Everyone dies we just don’t know when we’ll die or how.  Why worry about it?  Every day and moment should be lived to the best of our ability being the best people we can be don’t you think?

I run because I want to be more healthy.  I want to be more healthy because I want to live as long of a life free from canes or adult diapers and medications as I can.  I started off running to run away from life’s problems.  I ran to save myself from deep dark places that the anti-depression commercials talk about.  I ran not to look forward but to not look back.  Things are much better now for me and I am probably the happiest I’ve ever been since getting married.  I now appreciate meaning in life and the joys that my family brings me, especially my children as they head into adulthood.  I now run to be able to have as many tomorrows as I can and to “experience” every day rather than just living every day.  Lucy and Paul “experienced” life and looked at life in a really analytical way both in life and through and during death.  Running saved me and has taught me to really appreciate and experience most everything.  Running has become the glue that keeps me sane, lets me analyze things so I can better understand them more like Paul and Lucy do.  Running lets me reflect on things that have happened and what my takeaways are a lot like Lucy and Paul did as they applied the lessons they were learning through their difficult journey through Paul’s illness.

It’s books like this that make me a better human who appreciates the important things in life over skimming through each day blindly, and it’s running that has allowed me to take all those moments and push them forward to tomorrow and the next days to come.  Life, like running has good days and bad, joy and pain, frustrations and memories, positives and negatives. We should know what we want from both, have goals for both, give mindful thought to the moments and milestones that we experience during both.

HAPPY RUNNING!

 

Be The Inspiration

Last night I did workout #2 in my basement and my son joined me.  He joined me more out of guilt for not wanting to and to avoid saying no again.  He isn’t the working out type.  Unlike my oldest son, he doesn’t want to work out.  He does do sports in school but doesn’t want to do the work to become as good as he can be at them.  Despite all our encouragement, nagging and pleading with him to stay healthy and put some effort into it, he avoids working out like the plague.  He works out sometimes with his brother and preferably if his father is also working out since his brother is kind of hard on his lack of form, effort and enthusiasm. Sometimes occasionally he will go for a run between 1-3 miles on his own but usually it’s because Football season will be starting or because he is trying to get his wind for Wrestling and sometimes it’s just to keep us off his back I think.  He will come with me when I run but usually takes the easy road out and rides his bike next to me.  Sometimes he runs with me but not usually and definitely not when it’s hot out because he isn’t good in the heat.

So last night he came down with me and decided to ride the bike first.  I did the second half of my Tabata workout which was everything but Abs since I did those in the morning. He did the bike that for about 15 or so minutes and then did two or three TRX exercises Tabata style and then he was done.  It was a “Meh” workout at best in my opinion.  I thought about that for a moment and I decided that it was better for him to have come down and done something than for him to have done nothing at all.  I remember being his age and the thought of working out.  I didn’t do that faithfully or nearly at all until I was in my 40’s and depressed and gaining weight.  I needed a reason that motivated me all by myself and I assume he will get there some day I hope.  It doesn’t matter how many times I ask, beg, nag or guilt or plead with him to work out because it won’t happen until he WANTS it to happen.  It’s like anything we do in this life.  You have to want to do it to make it happen and not find excuses not to do it.  He won’t until he wants to, period so until that time I believe it is my job to keep asking and inviting him to join me.  I know how hard it is trying to do something on your own without support so I will be his support system and just be there when / if he needs me to help him.  That’s all I can do.

I will continue to be the best me that I can and trying to be an example and a beacon of inspiration for my kids and anyone who wants to try who might just need support. Those are the people who don’t know how to start or keep going. The ones who have to talk themselves out of quitting every day who just need some encouragement.  THAT is who I feel compelled to reach out to.  That’s what I feel my job is at the moment so I will do it to the best of my ability.  Everyone starts somewhere and has someone from whom they draw inspiration and courage to try new things.  I run for those people because I was one of those people!  Those people who struggle every single day are best described by someone I admire every day and someone who makes me look forward to reading every blog and listening podcast that she puts out there for “those people” to read @KellyKKRoberts. Kelly Roberts is the Queen and Captain of the Sportsbra Squad.

I was a 3 miler until I met my friend Barbara who put it in my head that I could run 13.1 miles.  That seems like so long ago but I remember the conversation clearly and I remember thinking “can I?”  Turns out it sat in my ‘craw’ for a long time until I signed up for my first half marathon with encouragement from Barbara and my husband.  Look at me now!  Without someone to push me and allow me to go at my own pace I might not be where I am today.  I want to be able to do that same thing for anyone who might need it including my son, daughter and niece.

HAPPY RUNNING!

Captain Of The Runch Bunch!

Some days it’s just a Runch kind of day.  It’s 41 this morning which is ok with me because I like a little chill in the air when I run in the morning.  What is not ok with me however, is that my intestines are not cooperating so that I can appropriately get ready to run.  I hate that and I was totally prepared to risk it but at the drop of a hat I just thought about how around lunch time it will be 73 and sunny and warmer and most likely I will be intestinally set to go for a run. You have to love Summer running! Sometimes it just doesn’t take much to convince me to switch up my plan.  I would actually go after work but I have an obligation that interferes with that so RUNCH it is!  It’s good to switch it up so you run new routes, new times and new places, after all life is not a spectator sport.  Go be adventurous and switch it up.  You just have to be open to it.

What things do you do to switch up the sameness of your routine?

HAPPY RUNNING!

Stretching Out The Kinks

I feel like a truck ran me over.  Yesterdays long run was 7 miles and it did have hills but none that I haven’t run over a hundred times since I’ve started running.  Nothing out of the ordinary, just a long run.  After long run however, I pulled weeds and gardened and mulched for 6.5 hours.  Yep that’s what did this to me.  I am stiff everywhere and my knees are pretty much flipping me off.  I can’t kneel much because it hurts so badly. I’m not cripple and  I don’t have arthritis I don’t think but being on my knees is super painful to me. Maybe I have extra nerves there or something, I’m not sure.  All I know is that when I have to kneel it hurts.  I gardened after my run yesterday which meant 6.5 hours on my knees. Thank God a lot of it could be in the grass and I actually did wear knee pads while I was on the tar along the driveway.  Up and down and pulling weeds and reluctant grass roots and hoofing bags of mulch all played a role in how I am feeling now.  When I was 20 I wouldn’t really be this achy but I’m 48 and my parts are just easier to tire out.  It’s good for me to feel tired, it means I worked hard and I like that.  So, today I creaked out of bed at 8 because we have the day off.  We went to the drive in last night and didn’t get home until 2 so I was tired after a day of big activity.  I contemplated not going out for a run but I got a nudge from my husband who probably knew I would be sorry if I didn’t run today.  He reminded me that the rain was coming and my opportunity to run if I wanted was a tiny little window RIGHT NOW.  What the hell, I’ll just do 3 I thought and then I’ll be happy and done for the day.  So I did and I’m glad I did because I did some extra stretching to wake up my sleepy body and stretch out all my aches that were trying to convince me that I should not go out there today.  I ran slower and I feel much looser now than before I left.  Running will do that for you, you just have to see the upside and the outcome over the obstacle that you have to get past.  Just another reason why I love running!

HAPPY RUNNING!

A Good Start

So, today was day one after letting it all hang out there in the wind yesterday.  Again, no date yet but we need to see what this old girl can put up and what my endurance and tolerance levels are in order to truly decide if the lofty goal I just set is actually doable.  Last night I did some speed work on the DM at the gym but only 3 miles because it was so damn hot in the gym I had to cut it short.  Today I hit the ground running intending to get my usual 3-5 miles in.  Somewhere in the first mile my subconscious decided that it was going to test my tolerance a bit and my legs obeyed.  My lazy pace is around a 10 minute mile.  My working pace is around 9:30 and my kick ass pace is anything under 9:30 these days.  If you read yesterdays post you will realize that this will not cut it if I am going to achieve that goal.  Now I do know that today is day ONE and I certainly do not expect to be close to goal at this time, just looking to see where I’m at with moderate to high effort so I can gauge where to focus.  So I ran 5 miles this morning.  I stopped every single mile mostly to rest but after mile 1 I had to shed a layer.  All the rest of 2-5 I needed to catch my breath.  I knew I was pushing it and as each mile buzzed on my wrist I was pleasantly surprised to find that at about 80% effort I was running sub 9.  My chest didn’t burn so I knew I was ok, my legs weren’t going to give out so I kept going and I didn’t puke so I knew I wasn’t working too hard. To my chagrin, I managed the following splits: 9:01, 8:50, 8:46, 8:35, 8:03 which not only impressed me but told me my goal is not too much of a pipe dream.  I realize this was just 5 miles not 26.2 and I don’t think I could manage that pace longer than I had without serious effort at micro managing fuel, hydration and mental fortitude.  The first two are easy to learn, the last one will take some serious effort which may take the help of someone who has done it before in order to bind my own “deathly hallows” to get the job done.

So I’m not in a bad place, not in the perfect place, just in a really good place right now and better situated than I originally thought to make it happen.  So time + effort + adjustments + consistency are my plan.  Reading a ton is about to become a bigger hobby to educate myself so I don’t hurt myself.  I’m 48 not 28 and I don’t have aspirations of breaking any world records, just one goal which isn’t over inflated.  I now believe in what I’m doing more than I did yesterday and hope to maintain that even on the hard days in a plan that I have yet to write down and commit to.  All you need to do is want to and the rest will fall into place right?

What goals have you set that made you nervous?  How did you deal with it?

HAPPY RUNNING!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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