2017 · Attitude · brenna gimler · Coaching · commitments · Discipline · happiness · Life

This Runner is Never Happy!

I had the usual disagreement with myself this morning that I have every off season.  My brain said do more and go for 5-6 miles but I interrupted myself and reminded me that it’s off season.  Off season is meant for rest from mostly running and more of stuff like my bike and swimming and weight training.  I wanted to keep one day where my miles are up but what heppens when I don’t?  Nothing, that’s what.  I’ve had a week away from VT and that hellacious hill and still my legs are flipping me off when I head out on the most flat 3 mile course comparedly.  My legs are pissed at me! As I headed out to beat the rain that’s coming in I just kept telling myself that 3 was good and the standard 3 miles is what it’s pretty much what my runs are going to be for at least a couple of weeks.  It’s funny how during training I complain about the long runs and sometimes even dread them and when I have the opportunity to keep it light, I’m arguing with myself about keeping it low because all I want to do is put up some digits.  It seems as though I’m never happy.  I never want to rest, sit still or keep it light.  When I do I’m beating myself up to try harder and not get lazy and I’m always pushing myself.  In a way I do like being my own motivator.  Mike & Mike  actually talked about that today detailing how some players in the NFL think it’s the coaches job to motivate them.  I couldn’t disagree more.  I think when a player / runner / athlete needs it, that a “coach” should step in and give them a pep talk but for the most part, that player /runner /athlete’s job is to motivate themselves.  I never look to anyone to motivate me except the old me.  The fat lazy depressed person who tried to take my cookies and make me quit.  The girl that’s always behind me as a reminder from where I came and where I do NOT want to go back to.  Whatever makes you go is fine.  You should be self motivated and never being happy with where you’re at is ok as long as you aren’t doing so much that you make yourself sick or injure yourself.  I may never be happy but I belive I have the right mix for me to keep striving for more.  Be the best me I can be  and enjoy it along the way until the day where I decide that it’s time to stop, if I get to that point.  I may never be perfectly satisfied & happy with what I’m doing,  but I’m happy where I am.   The point it that I’m happy never being happy because being unhappy with where I’m at is what motivates me to do more, be more, strive for more and THAT makes me very happy!

HAPPY RUNNING!

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2017 · accountability · Attitude · brenna gimler · Cold Running · commitments · Discipline · running

Making It Up On The Other End

Last night I laid out my running gear for a run this morning.  I got my cold weather gear out, and had it in my head that  I would do my usual 3 mile, 5am run.  When my alarm went off and I pulled up my weather app, it wasn’t quite the 31 degrees that I had anticipated.  It was 25 degrees outside which isn’t far off from 31 but 6 degrees is 6 degrees when you’re warm and cuddly in your bed.  So I was already working through my other options for working out today like A) running at lunch which would be at 51 degrees which is much more tolerable to me today.  B) I also thought about riding my stationary bike which meant I would stay inside and stay warm.  C) I also thought about possibly not working out today and if that happens I’m ok with it.  I am opting for option B which means utilizing my free time differently, but giving up sitting around reading the same old gossip magazines or going out and possibly spending money that I shouldn’t is a good trade.  You see, I don’t have to, no one is counting on me to do so, so it ain’t gonna happen today at 25 degrees!  I’ll make it up and I do feel a little lazy at the moment but it’ll get done when I’ll be more comfortable and when my nose won’t stick together when I breathe.  When it’s so cold out that I might have to cover my face so I don’t catch PEE-NEW-MONIA I instantly begin my work around solution.  It’s funny because I really don’t mind running in the cold but I think I’m not quite adjusted to winter yet.  You know that brief time between Fall and Winter when it starts to get cold but isn’t truly freezing but you’d swear it was an ice age….yeah that’s where I am right now!  So I didn’t go out running….I ate my pancakes and eggs anyway….. and I will get my butt out there today….just later when it’s warmer and I’ll be happier!  Some days it’s all about the compromise and that’s ok as long as you do in fact make it up on the other end.

HAPPY RUNNING!

2017 · brenna gimler · Cold Running · Discipline · Hard Running · Hills · Pace · Rain Running

Can You Dwell On Things You’ll Never Know?

So my question right now is “can you reasonably guestimate what would have happened if you made different choices?” That’s my thought process today. Today my legs feel like I would expect them to the day after a half marathon. Tired but not painfully achy and a slight bit of discomfort in my hips but nothing to cry about. The question I ponder is whether or not I should be thanking my new CW-X pants for feeling good today or not. I bought them so I would have extra support for the race. Support I had, the compression is great but the expectation I had for after the race was sorely short met. I expected my legs to feel great and to not have pain in my hips or knees or surprisingly the backs of my legs. That particular problem tells me I need new shoes so I will make that purchase soon. The question is however, did my new tights do their job or not? Would my legs feel worse today if I hadn’t worn them? Maybe. But I’ll never know for sure so why think about it?  Was the hilly course the culprit to my ridiculously sore lower extremities? Perhaps but perhaps not. I will never know the answer to this question because it can’t be answered. I cannot relive moments to determine different outcomes.  I suppose I could buy new shoes and run a long run with hills and see how I feel to test that theory. My watch didn’t save my time from the race so I won’t know my own pace.  It isn’t really different from the official time but I like to see the time on my watch because it tells me how much actual running time I had without stops or potty breaks.  This race, I may have run too fast but I don’t think so. I was texting my sons at every mile and it was averaging 10 minute miles. That’s not too fast and I don’t think it’s too fast with hills. Again, I will never know the answer to that. According to my official time of 2:21:15 I had a 10:47 average pace time. Overall that’s discouraging to me, but I did walk several times and I stopped to pee once. So no, I am not happy that I was putting up nearly an 11 minute mile throughout the race but it’s not shocking to me either because I wasn’t trying to run fast. I was trying to finish and at the end of the day who cares anyway except for me. Nobody that’s who. I’ll never know what could have been different, all I can do is change different things and see what the differences are. I won’t bad mouth my new pants because it’s possible that they actually did their job. I’ll use them again because the compression was very good. I won’t dwell on things, just change what I know needs to be changed and move on to the next thing. That’s life!  I think that the think I liked least was that I felt unprepared for a race that in all actuality I was very ready for.  I felt tired and old and wondering what the hell I thought I was doing signing up for that race anyway.  The audacity of my having signed up for another race at certain points in the race seemed rather audacious to me.  Pretty bold to do is what I thought as I was increasingly disappointed in myself for feeling so unprepared as I did for 13.1 miles.  I don’t feel that way anymore but yesterday I did.  I felt like everything wasn’t aligned properly, causing me to stumble through the race.  Although I finished it felt like a messy finish that needed cleaning up.  Again, a disappointment that was only temporary to the situation.  Today of course I’m looking at races for 2018 so how badly could I feel anyway right?  All we can do is move on and that’s exactly what I’ll be doing!

HAPPY RUNNING!

2017 · Attitude · being prepared · brenna gimler · Cold Running · Discipline · Equipment Failure · goals · Hills · Rain Running · Random Thoughts · Running Environment · Running experience

Dissapointments Are Only Temporary

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So my last Half Marathon is now done.  It was a very hilly race in cooler weather that bordered on raw by the end of the race.  I was happy that the nasty rain held out pretty much until I was finished.  Deep down inside I was a little disappointed that I had to walk a few times.  Well, it was more like wanted to walk most of those times except for a few times getting up another hill.  I hate it when I walk because it makes me feel so damn defeated but as I tell everyone I know, no one…I mean NO ONE in the world cares if you walk.  There were lots of walkers yesterday and walkers in places where I didn’t really understand why they were walking at that very spot.  I always feel a little like I don’t deserve the finishers medal when I walk.  I know I still finished 13.1 miles but I didn’t run the entire thing and I certainly didn’t treat it like a race and push myself anywhere except to the finish line.  I was disappointed but disappointments are only temporary.  My wonderful son was waiting in the stinging cold rain for me with a giant bear hug at the finish line.  That was my actual reward for running yesterday’s race.  I always look for my kids if they come to the race because it’s like a huge surge of adrenaline that kicks in when I round the corner.  I can’t wait to get to them and hug them.  All I think about the last 2 miles is the kid who came to my race.  So far that has only been James and it’s kind of nice to have him volunteer to come with me and sit around for 2+ hours while I run.  My hips and knees and legs were not in the greatest shape when I finished.  My right knee especially must have had some serious internal swelling because it was killing me.  The backs of my legs ached especially on the long drive home 7 hours later from spending the post race day with my son John at URI.  Driving was more and more awful as the hour home went on.  I couldn’t wait to put my feet up for the night.  I am disappointed that the new @cwx_usa tights that I bought specifically for leg, joint and muscle support didn’t work.  It could have been the hills and I suppose that today had I not worn them I could feel a whole lot worse, but yesterday I was disappointed in the $75 investment that didn’t make a difference when I needed it to.  Live and learn I suppose.  Maybe I need to do a long flat run to see how I feel but I feel like I shouldn’t have felt so bad after this race because I had my @cwx_usa tights.  Maybe I’m just old.  Today I’m over it because disappointments are temporary as long as you use them to improve yourself and your situation.  Overall yesterday was a success in that I finished and I’m proud of myself for finishing.  I certainly am happy that I only have one more race to go next Sunday but I’m nervous because the hill I’m about to face is 10x any hill I took on yesterday and it’s 4 miles long straight up in the predicted cold weather.  Only time will tell how it will go and only a good attitude will see me through.  I’ve got at least one of those under control, the rest I’ll take as it comes.  Bring on VT and the best race that I can do.  

 

 

HAPPY RUNNING!

 

 

 

2017 · Attitude · brenna gimler · commitments · Discipline · Dreadmill · motivation · Random Thoughts · running

4:49 AM; The Line Between Dedication & a Hobby

So today I woke up before my 4:45 alarm to the sound of wind and what was probably sideways stinging rain.  I realized that running outside was not a smart idea so I decided to go to the gym to use the treadmill instead.  Now I pretty much hate the DM but on days like this and others in the winter where there is no where to run, I appreciate my gym membership quite a bit.  There are some other things I like it for like spin class.  I have a stationary spin bike at home but I don’t work it like I do when I go to the gym.  I also appreciate the pool for some cardio, the sauna sometimes to relax, the stairmaster for punishment, fitness classes of many kinds for whenever I’m having a whim moment.  Mostly my appreciation is for that damn DM because it’s always there when I need  it.  Today was one of those days.  As I tossed on my gear and grabbed my keys I took this picture of the clock on the stove in my kitchen.  This is the line between dedication and a hobby.  I’m up because I have limited time to fit in a workout these days so it’s either 4:49 or not at all.  Wanting it and doing it are very different.  It’s like the people on the DM that walk while holding on, no incline and no sweat.  Those are the people that wonder why they aren’t reaching their goals.  It’s because they aren’t working hard enough for it.  I don’t mean to sound like an asshole but really, no sweat, no elevated heart rate, no sore muscles = no achievement.  You have to actually put effort into it which includes getting up at 4:30 to get to the gym to sweat.  I can’t carry on a conversation without huffing and puffing when I’m running, street or DM.  I don’t go to the gym  to talk to my friends, I go to the gym to improve myself.  Now I don’t know anyone’s situation so there could be extenuating circumstances like coming back from a heart attack or surgery, however, in general there is a definite line between casual fitness….NO!  no no no no no!  I can’t even use those words together because fitness isn’t casual.  How about  there is a difference between moving and dedicated fitness.  Today that line for me was 4:49 am as I stepped out into a morning that undoubtedly would have ended in some kind of negative result.  Today I realized that dedication has set into who I have become from someone who no longer exists.  It’s just part of my being now.  I don’t even think about it.  I just do it day after day working toward an invisible and undefined goal that changes all the time.  4:49 is what sets me aside from everyone else who just talks about it, complains about it instead of doing it.  4:49 is the strength of the lotus that rises up from the mud at the bottom of the pond to bloom on the surface into a beautiful flower.  I am the lotus and 4:49 is the fire in the pit of my belly that burns strong like the eternal flame that always reminds me where I have been and why I do what I do.  4:49 is the bar that I always reach for that is just out of reach but always reachable.  4:49 is the line between dedication and a hobby, doing and not doing, wasting energy and getting results.  I am 4:49!

HAPPY RUNNING!

2017 · accountability · Attitude · being prepared · brenna gimler · Coaching · commitments · Discipline · Encouraging · Fitness Equipment · Random Thoughts · Spinning

All You Need Is A Little Want To!

There’s something extremely empowering when you become the example, mentor, developer of someone’s love for working out.  It fills me up with such joy to see someone I’ve known for their entire life coming out to try a little fitness and to be doing it with me.  Now maybe it’s  because classes are free at the moment that is the reason she came but honestly I don’t care.  I invited my niece (childhood bff’s daughter) to come to spin tonight with me.  Part of me wanted to see how serious she was about getting in shape and part of me wanted company in spin class and an even deeper part of me wanted to light the fitness fire that might be smoldering way down inside that just needed a little breeze to spark up a bonfire!  She’s at a point where she feels out of shape and wants to drop some weight and tone up some parts.  That’s the time when you can influence someone the most because the want to is there.  She wants to, feels like she needs to and is making the effort to do it. All you need is a little want to and you can achieve anything in the world.  So tonight we did spin for the second time together and she stayed right with the class and never stopped.  I better watch out or her that little chickadee will be hard to keep up with soon!  Tonight class was hard!  I was literally dripping all over the ground and my bandana wasn’t helping keep the sweat from dripping down my face.  I was a sweaty hot mess and so hot that I whipped my shirt off and spun 2/3 of class in just my sports bra!  I feel like you have to adjust to that boldness gradually but I’m at the point where I just feel good enough that I’m not giving everyone around me that “Puke in your mouth” feeling when I bare it all.  Now, I’m no spring chicken but I feel like I work hard to be in decent shape and that it wouldn’t be like “OH MY GOD, look at that fat lady letting it all hang out!”  Like I said, all you have to do is get to the want it stage and you too will have big ol’ kahuna’s too!  So we finished class successfully, neither one of us fainted, puked or died which is good.  I am hoping that she and possibly her mom, my lifelong bff, will join the gym so I can have my own set of gym peeps.  Who knows.  All that matters is that I am helping her to want to work out and helping myself find a reason to work harder toward a better me!  Good things come to those who …..put forthe  the damn effort and make it happen!  I mean  to those who try.  LOL

HAPPY RUNNING!

 

 

 

 

 

 

2017 · Attitude · Discipline · Hard Running · Hills

Holy Hill!

So I have this race in VT in November with this really big 4 mile  hill to open the 10 miles we must cover.  Out of sight out of mind was great until Saturday.  I have had this “can do” attitude about it so far because well I don’t have a choice other than walk or quit if I don’t just get it done.  I’m all rah rah about it for weeks since we signed up.  Well there’s this “hill” (using term lightly) that the girls in my group have been telling me about for practicing to get ready for VT.  I haven’t gotten over there but Saturday I took my son and his friend with me and went to check it out.  It’s in Fall River which is one of the absolute armpits of Mass.  Not really a good place and the element that hangs there is sketchy.  Now if you’re from there, of course you’ll say “oh it’s really not a bad area” but it’s just above the line of somewhere in NYC where stripped cars,  grafiti all over everything and trash on the street and walking the street.  It’s clearly above  that line but not by a whole lot.  Maybe that’s the country girl in me but I’m personally not comfortable there.  I wouldnt go there by myself ever and the thought of leaving my car parked for a while makes me nervous but the girls seem fine with it and have been there in small groups and alone.

So back to the hill.  If you are old enough to remember the TV show “The Streets of San Francisco” you’ll know what this hill looks like.  One big giant uphill battle is what it is!  My “can do” attitude came down a whole lot as I drove up this hill.  Usually hills that are hard to run feel like nothing in a car.  This hill felt hard in the truck! The picture I’ve attached is a picture of Presidents Ave.  Now, this snapshot from Google does NOT do that hill justice.  You can’t even tell how very steep it is but trust me, it’s super steep and reminds me of the horrible hill in the Lynchburg Half Marathon that I ran which had an elevation gain of 200 feet over a mile.  If Presidents Ave continued on for 4 miles it would exactly mirror that hill.  I thought one mile of that crap was hard let alone 4 in a row!  Now I’m nervous not only about practicing on this hill but about our race.  I will finish but it gives it a whole lot more perspective about what a hill is and how much mental fortitude I’m going to need to get my ass up that hill.  We’re meeting on Sunday to run together and hopefully we get a few runs up that hill before race day just to at least get a basis for the impending struggle.  We grow by challenging ourselves right?  RIGHT!  Let’s get this done!

HAPPY RUNNING!