I started this Fighter Diet ( @Fighter_Diet ) technically 4 days ago if you count today. The challenge actually started today but I have to be ahead of everyone so I started counting nutrients and measuring stuff on Sunday. I put my book together with all the support docs they give us and also included log sheets for the next 40 or so days of the 87-ish that make up the challenge. I have all the workout logs and the food breakdowns in there. It’s my bible for the next 12 weeks! Ok, that’s not so strange as I am an organized person to a fault. Not perfect of course because attention to details in some things isn’t where it could be but mostly I hold the title for organizational queen. Today however, I went out at lunch and bought the stuff to make these weird looking but very popular, pancakes (or waffles) that everyone taking the challenge is raving about. Not only did I buy the ingredients I didn’t have at home but I also bought an alternate for variety or choice if I don’t like the first one. I also bought another ingredient that is in my book because it looked healthy and good and just 4 days in I’m starting to get sick of the same foods every day. NO, what I’m sick of mostly is writing down the same stupid foods every day on my sheet. Not sure why that’s bugging me but it is. So now I’ll have a choice but whatever happened to waiting to see how at least week 1 panned out before jumping all in? Clearly I’m a fan of this program and I’ve thrown caution to the wind because I’m convinced it’s going to work for me despite my reservations about the food consumption. You see, I already work out as much if not more than they tell the participants to do in the program. Many of this group are out of shape with little to no fitness in their life so for them this program will be a godsend. For me I’m hoping that counting my nutrients and drinking a TON of water above what I usually get down in conjunction with upping and switching up my weight workouts a little will be the difference. Having people to talk to about what I’m doing who understand it because they too are living it is helpful. Seeing other people’s motivation and success/ failures makes me feel normal and having drank the proverbial Coolaid is helping motivate me to keep going every day. Seeing all these before pictures of people who also jumped in head first is inspiring. Probably why I sent in my pictures because who the hell cares what I look like except me. It all boils down to the fact that I’m stoked to be doing this. I’m happy that there are coaches with what seems like endless patience for people who could answer their own questions if they would just READ the material that was handed out. One of the things that I like most about this challenge is that I don’t set the workouts. I have to follow what they set forthe as the workout for the week. I can’t change it, skip it (well I could but I won’t), substitute it at all. No one is monitoring me but me and I really don’t want to be on the other side of that face in the mirror. I’m more motivated to follow a specific plan laid out week by week than I am continuing to lay out a new plan for myself and going at the moderate workout in an average way.
I am a foodie plain and simple. I love food. I live to eat good food and thankfully I am a modified good eater that broke old bad food habits. I wake up thinking about what is for breakfast, lunch and dinner and go to bed thinking about the next day’s food adventure! Well, I never would have thought that I would be bitching about how much food I have to eat but here I am dreading all the food I must eat today. Now when I say dread I don’t mean I don’t want to…..I just am not looking forward to actually consuming that much food. I am now on Pauline Nordin’s Fighter Diet. I don’t follow her recipes but those are just suggestions for those who can’t get going or need tight guidance. I don’t need this. It’s a program with a specific workout regimen and a very specific plan for counting calories, proteins, carbs and fats. Well let me be the first to say that I LOVE the organization and planning part of this diet but I HATE actually writing it all down and planning meals for the day. Such a pain in the ass but I’m doing it. This plan calls for ME (specific calculation based on where I want to get to) to actually eat 2,175 calories! OMFG! I usually hover around 1,100 – 1,400 per day and maybe a scooch more on workout days which is pretty much every day. 2,175 doesn’t sound like much but believe me when it isn’t coming from shit you’re just shoving in your face but from calculated planning it’s a shit ton of food. I eat all damn day long! Now no complaints from me about eating but it seems like I never stop. I will say that having to write it all down and be accountable for each thing I am eating is a major stopper to just snacking whenever I want. Having to report to myself for each calorie and try to stay under the daily limit took me over an HOUR last night to plan out. I added and then subtracted foods, erased things and did the re-add thing for all the numbers until I got as close as I could for the day. It is never going to be dead on to my planned max for each of the 4 categories but I do my best. Which is all I can do. I’m nervous about putting on weight because of all this food but my friend Cherrie says to have faith in the plan because she’s proof that it works like it should and if you follow your plan. I signed up because I want to look good for my age…well better anyway. I signed up so I am not a blanket dweller at the beach who is afraid to show some skin because it’s all cellulite. I don’t want to get all mushy or mushier and if I can tighten my core for a good Falmouth this year I’ll be super happy not to mention that looking ok in a bathing suit at the company outing in a few weeks would be outstanding too. That one is just a bonus. So this is an experiment for me to see how good I can be and how well it will work. I want to learn how to feed my body and make it do what I want. It should be interesting so stay tuned for Fighter Diet updates. My Bad Ass B friends are all doing it so it’s more fun in a group. So happy these ladies are my friends!
Tonight I should be working on Abs but I’m not. I’m not because I’m aprehensive to do so. Why am I aprehensive? I’ll tell you. About 10 years ago I was using our Ab-Doer fitness device and I believe I injured myself. I did a very vigorous ab workout on this piece of equipment that night and immediately afterwards I broke out in a profuse sweat. I got terrible chest pain across the front of my shoulders and down my arms and it clearly felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I thought I was having a heart attack but when it subsided after 20 or 30 minutes I passed it off as too hard of a workout. It didn’t happen again until a few years ago and I forget what triggered it. I don’t think it was a workout but I don’t remember for sure. The same symptoms and pain and timeframe ensued and then I was fine just like the initial incident. Today I was standing in my bathroom and leaned to the right to take something out of the linen closet and it happened again. Pain, sweating and 20 minutes of waiting for it to end. My daughter saw me and asked if I was alright. I assured her that I was and that it would go away in about 10 minutes. She told me that if it wasn’t gone in an hour she was taking me to the hospital. I wasn’t worried enough to believe it would be that long but I did text my bosses to let them know I would most likely be late because of the issue. As I expected, it subsided in around 20 minutes and off to work I went. Well, as it turns out my daughter who goes to college where my husband works happen to run into him and proceeded to tell him that I had an issue earlier. He reached out to me and proceeded to corral me to a decision that I probably should have made anyway since this is not the first time I have had this issue. He told me that he knows lots of people, all of which in fact have diaphragms and none of which have ever had or heard of this issue before. When I told him what i thought it stemmed from he asked how I was sure it was that. Now I’m not sure it is but there can’t be any other answer. I believe I tore or strained my diaphragm that night so long ago but the fact that it only happens occasionally and not during workouts is puzzling to me. Now many things in life are puzzling even though the when and how seem so easy to understand. Anyway, my husband insisted that I discuss it with my doctor when I go back to talk to her about my thyroid levels which are another long time issue that unlike this one have not been just my thing to deal with. I was on Levothyroxin for a while but I don’t like being on medication unless I have to so we’ll decide what to do in June when I talk to her. I felt guilty blowing it off so I called the doctor to add the issue I had today to the other issue we would be talking about in June and the nurse put me on hold. She came back and told me that June was too long to wait on this and that the doctor wanted to see me this week. So now I have an appt in a few days to explore what the issue is. I know it’s not my heart so that’s good and it most likely is nothing that is dangerous enough to kill me by any stretch. Could it be something that needs surgery? Sure. I did what everyone does when the doctor wants to see you and I googled it. I stopped that right quick because you know how that goes right? All of a sudden you’re dying and your imagination is running away with you. We’ll see what she says Friday. We’ll also have to probably address the hernia I acquired when my kids were born which is just above my belly button. It’s this little knob but who knows whether or not it’s related. I’m not even positive that I got it when the kids were born. Maybe i just think that’s when it showed up but it really showed up as a result of the initial injury. It’s all melting together into a big mystery to be solved.
So there you have it, my real reason for not doing abs tonight. I am nervous to aggrivate the problem so close to an “incident” so I’m taking a day off and maybe two or three until the doctor sees me. I’m going to behave because my daughter is nervous and my husband thinks I need to take care of it. My reason is that what if its something that needs to be taken care of before it gets worse. What if i didn’t make the appointment and something bad happened. How would I feel then? I’d feel like a shit that’s what so I’m doing the right thing because if it were my family I would be insisting they go see the doctor too. You have to take care of you so running and biking it is this week until the good doctor gives me an answer. Till then….
I have already set my 2018 fitness schedule through March. I have a half marathon on the books for March so my plan goes to there. I have set a weight goal that I would like to hit either by my half or by my birthday in May. Seventeen pounds that I want to shed is a little harder now that I’m older and doing some weight training to tone. I seem to hover around 165 these days which in my pants feels great but my eyes are still from the old school that start the name calling when I look in the mirror and still see cellulite on my legs and ass that make me wonder if I’ll ever get rid of that. Better happy and healthy and hovering at a healthy heavier weight than to be deeply depressed and either 200 lbs or 150 heading to very bad places. That was my swing not long ago. I’ve pretty much made peace with my current weight but I fight old demons that lurk in the mirror every day.
I have a meal plan of sorts in my head for this year one month at a time. ( THIS IS NOT ME BTW but I’d like it to be LOL!)
When I say meal plan I mean less sweets, more protein and less snacking. I want to up my effort in the weight training arena to really put in a full body effort with more focus on toning to try to cut just a little more body fat. My husband keeps saying I’m tight but when you’re feeling my ribs, OF COURSE, I’m tight. Not much fat there at all. LOL. I don’t really argue with him because it makes me feel good that that is the picture he sees of me and not the one I see in the mirror. I am going to try overnight oats this coming year to see if I can stomach them. They look awesome but something about oats that sat overnight kind of boges me out.
In terms of running, I don’t think this year will be as full as last year. I believe I’ll fall somewhere between 3-4 races not the 7 I did this year. One for me, one with my friend and one with my Bad Ass B’s for sure. Maybe one other but I would like to focus on strength training this year more than running to see what I have in me and how “tight” I can actually make this old body. I want to be amazing at 50 which is my 2019 birthday number. One reason I want to take it easy on the running THIS year is because I want to run a full marathon next year for my 50th. That goal scares the shit out of me because it’s bigger than I’ve ever attempted. It’s overwhelmingly ginormous and intimidating but it’s on my mind. I think even if I DNF (WHICH I HAVE NEVER EVER DONE BTW) I will have attempted what in my mind is the coo de ta of races. Can I do it? I do believe I can and I want to push myself to see if I can. So this year I’ll focus on strength to prepare for the BIG ONE next year. Get ready B’s because I’m going to need you there when I make that attempt. I’ll need my girls to help me get there and to be at the finish line with hopefully one or all of my kids cheering me to the finish. It will be a year of preparation and focus one month at a time. Watch out 2019 because this girl is coming for you with a vengeance. This girl is going to be ready when you arrive!
Here’s to the next 367 days until 2019 gets here!
Progress is slow it’s as simple as that. As much as we would like to see results right away it just can’t happen that fast unless you’re Mama June and even that took time. I’ve been taking progress pictures of myself since November and some of them look like I’ve made good progress and others just don’t look different at all. Some days I wonder how I can do more. Other days I try to switch it up so I am doing some different things so my body is confused and doesn’t get complacent. Then there are days where I wonder why I do all that I do because let’s face it, I’m 48 and probably not turning too many heads any longer. I mean I look nice outside thanks to hair dye and makeup and staying fit. Clothes hide cellulite and sometimes bulges in bad spots so to see me with clothes on is sort of an unfair picture. I’m not complaining at all because I know how I feel and in fact still hear from people that are impressed with how I do look. It’s the bathroom mirror that bothers me and all the work that I do that isn’t doing enough that can sometimes be a downer. My answer to myself is if you want it, work harder. That really is the answer that I need to own if I want it bad enough. I want it but I’m not willing to really do a ton more than I am because I care about good health and feeling good, which I am in and do, over trying to look like someone that I’m not. Even with this realization and understanding I still have the days where I feel defeated. It doesn’t last long because I live with a child fighting the weight and good health battle. When I see her trying so hard right now I remember how far I’ve come and remind myself to appreciate where I’m at and do what I can to support her.
I wrote today’s blog because last night she said sort of jokingly that she wished she could see results in a week. Yeah, don’t we all! That would be great but as we all know, it takes 30 days for you to feel a difference, 60 days to see the difference and 90 days for your friends to see it. That fact is with a LOT of hard work, dedication and determination. It will happen but it just takes time. We have to be patient and do our due diligence to get there plain and simple. I have always believed that you have to want it bad enough to sacrifice all that you need to in order to get it. That is where I find that many people struggle because we have become a society of instant gratification and unwillingness to work hard for what we want. Where there’s a will there’s a way plain and simple, we just need to find it and get it done. Remember to use the 21 /90 rule to cement your commitment and to go from attempting it to in the habit of it to having a new lifestyle that changes your life!
How bad do you want your goals and what do you sacrifice to achieve them?
The show is over, the sun is up late into the evenings, it’s warm out in the morning and now at night too…oh the workout options I have just gained for the next 6 months! I miss it when we do the shows because days become a blur of lost nights and weekends creating, building and painting sets for the show. It’s months and months of work both at home and at the school that pretty much eliminate my ability to workout at night. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting up and out early in the morning and getting it over with first thing but I like to switch it up sometimes and do my workouts at night instead. I also like to do two-fers (working out in the morning and at night) a couple of times a week. The responsibility of the show as much as I love those days restricts me to mornings only. That works and I do it because I have to but now that my day is mine I feel really good about having my nights back. Today, because yesterday was such a hard workout on my body, I’ll do my Tabata workout after work so I have a few extra hours to rest. Having nights backs is wonderful since mid days are now headed into summer weather and the “too hot and dangerous to run outside” weather is upon us. Between the gym membership that rarely gets used but is handy to have when I need it and an available schedule, I’m excited to once again step it up and take it to the next level in strength training. Let’s see what I can do! I need to work on core a lot if I am going to improve my pace enough to seriously tackle my new goal. I need to work on my legs to round out their ability to hold me up for 26.2 miles and I need to cut extra body fat where it truly is extra. I can do more of that now that I have the time and have options on what I do and when. It’s like a breath of fresh air and I always look forward to this time of the year and I will push myself to do my best to be my best because I don’t have a trainer by my side helping me stay the course.
What things do you appreciate that you don’t always have the opportunity to do?
Fitness is about dedication, determination, acceptance, fortitude, routine, consistency, learning, application, switching it up, flexibility and so many other things. Learning to work within all of these words to be the best and smartest athlete you can is a process. Sometimes you give it your all and other times you give it all you have in the tank. Knowing when to do either of those things is really important. Being able to accept the days when you just can’t give 100% for whatever reason is something that takes a lot of effort, at least on my part, to wrap my head around. You won’t get very far if you don’t learn to work within the boundaries of what can and cannot be accomplished on any given day. You do what you can and accept that one day at a time.
My struggle to decide what fitness routine I want to do every day at 5:00 am isn’t always clear. Sometimes I don’t even know until that morning what direction I’m going to take. Sometimes I end up doing exactly what I want and other days I just do what I can because time isn’t always on my side. I can’t complain because I work out 7 days a week most weeks and switching up my routine with a schedule like that is really important to staying healthy and not wearing myself down too much. Today I had another fight with my body. We got home from rehearsal at 11:45. Thank god I did lunches earlier in the night! Anyway, my alarm just seemed to go off way too early. I fought with my body, which will be another year older in a few weeks, for 15 minutes after the alarm went off trying to decide if we were headed out or headed downstairs. I wasn’t really keen on even getting out of bed today. Sleep was laying on me like an elephant today and I wasn’t really fighting it much. So after several minutes of consideration and deliberation about what we were going to commit to, downstairs won.
For those who haven’t read my previous blogs, my husband and I build, paint and manage the sets for the high school musical productions put on by The Raynwater Players made up of the students at the school. The show is tomorrow and its ridiculously big this time with too many sets, too many pieces left to finish and too many late nights. Making this all happen is cumbersome and there is just so much prep each night to make the most of every minute. Making dinners and lunches and getting supplies and things grows daily and takes more and more time away from sleeping as we get closer. Today I can’t even go in to work on the show because I will be picking my son up from college for the summer (WOO HOO! SO HAPPY!).
These things all take my time putting a choke hold on free time / me time. These days during show prep I do what I can and accept that for now. The show will be over soon and I can go back to two-fers soon. So today the bike won the draw and it’s actually probably good that I stayed in because my knee felt a little wonky. It didn’t hurt but it just felt wonky today. I believe in signs so I’ll chalk that one up to a sign that bad things would have happened today if I had gone outside to run. Thirty minutes is thirty minutes whether it’s running or weight training or riding the bike. It all goes to reinforce the same thing and that is keeping me healthy and agile. Some days you do what you want and other days you just do what you can because something is better than nothing on any given day.
Have you had challenges getting your workouts in? How do you make it all work?