I ran today and it was 40 out when I left. Not too cold and not too warm but mildly cool enough that I needed to keep moving along. I left sort of in a hurry because I was pissed off and needed to get away from the house. Running is a great excuse to step away AND get fit while venting to the tar all my morning woes for the nominal fee of 30 minutes free of charge. My legs still feel like lead and I don’t know if it’s because I’m sick, because I haven’t run much or both. It was another heavy leg day which only makes me want to run more so I can feel better but my legs were not my real challenge. My lungs are actually in control of my lack of running. I can still hear myself wheezing, my throat although not raw or even sore per se doesn’t like the mouth breathing. My runs during this illness are like a throwback to the beginning when it was hard to move because my fat ass was non compliant. I feel so much more wiped out than the days when I’m running a lot and well. Less miles I keep telling myself, will help me heal.
So, today I did something unlike me. I emailed the director for the half marathon I’m registered for in March and asked him if I could withdraw. Yep, I did. Being now 3 weeks behind in long runs is stressing me out and I don’t care about the race that much. I’m not running for a cause so why put myself through that? Who says I HAVE to run it? Me is who and I am in control of what I register to do. I’m not running with my friends so there’s no one to disappoint except me and I would rather not run and have the pressure of struggling to catch up or potentially run a race unready taken away than to kill myself and not enjoy the journey to race day. There you have it. I have requested to withdraw from a race and I feel like it is a good decision for me. This winter has been awful for running. I have done my best with the days I have been given and the rest have been a combination of inside my house and workouts at the gym. That’s what I can manage so that’s what I’m doing. I am ok with not running this half and feel a sudden release of pressure having requested a refund. Sometimes we have to bow out, at least it’s not a DNF… it’s a DNS! Sometimes what is good for us physically is not a mental marriage made in heaven but it’s for the best. So we rest more and keep runs short. We don’t run races for a while and we work harder on weight training which is our 2018 goal anyway.
I’ve been watching the TB12 mini documentary series on Tom Brady. I pretty much drop everything when the latest comes out to see what the new topic is. These short 15 minute videos each have a theme to them. They define how he takes on every part of his life and the focus he has at each level. The physical game, mental game, social game and the emotional game. Each level has an entire methodology surrounding it. Tom Brady is fiercely focused which is why he is the Greatest Of All Time. Each day I think about Tom Brady and I think about what he does to achieve so much. I think about how much less I am striving for and how what I do is so much less intense than his world. That thought drives me to try each day to push through and achieve something physical to stay above the health / sickness line that people my age tend to fall under as they age. I want to try harder and do more to be ahead of average. I really want to focus this year on strength training. Training for this race in March is bothering me because I’m behind in training, I haven’t put nearly enough focus on strength training because I’ve been sick. I haven’t been running much because I’ve been sick. Sick sick sick! WWTD? What Would Tom Do? Well truthfully he is immersed in a world of heathy thinking, healthy eating, heathy fitness that keeps him doing the right things 24/7. I don’t have that luxury. I have work, kids, money challenges that take my focus on the level of dedication I can give to what I want. If I workout, something waits. Dishes, laundry, rest, cooking. All these things are things that TB12 does not have to worry about doing because someone else has that job. His job is fitness and football and that’s what he does all day every day. If I could do the same and had people to do the rest, I too could get to my pipedream goals. I am a normal human with normal responsibilities and work which alter what is actually achievable at my level. I know this even though my brain is fighting me. I don’t know who I’m trying to impress and why I push so hard but deep down in my soul I have TB12 fire that makes me keep going, keep striving for more and I like that. Even though I’m behind in training and overweight in places and not tight like my head wants to be, I just keep doing something as many days as I can. It’s ok. I’m ok. I’m human and something is better than nothing. I want to feel ok in a bikini this summer. I want to look good overall and continue to feel like 48 is great. I’ll be 49 this year and I feel like I’m a better 49 than I would have been 7 years ago if I had stayed that path. Try and do your best is my daily mantra. I think about TB12 and try to incorporate that into each day even if each day isn’t perfect. As long as my fire burns in my soul and I have the want to and try to mentality I keep moving in the right direction. Tom Brady is one of my heros. I want to give my all as he does every day that I can to be my best. Shouldn’t we all? If you haven’t seen Tom vs. Time I recommend that you watch it and find where it applies in your own life. Click the image above to start watching Tom vs. Time E1 – E4
So tonight it was 40 out and clear with no rain, snow or fog. I decided to try to go for a run. I took yesterday off and did nothing this moring so a run seemed perfectly timed. I geared up and layered up and planned to go slow which was probably all I was going to be able to do anyway. Off I went and right away my legs decided to initiate lead mode which was fine by me since I really didn’t plan on much beyond a slow trot. This sickness has kicked my ass. Two days ago I did some leg exercises, good ones for a home workout I’d say. Then I rode my stationary for 30 minutes like I always do. Like I always do, I turned the resistance up then down then up and down again. This is what I usually do and in fact, I didn’t do the stand up with higher resistance but once where I usually do it 3-5 times. All in all I felt like it was an okay workout. When I sat down in bed for the night I could hardly keep my eyes open. My body felt so tired, almost too tired in my opinion. I felt like I didn’t earn the state of fatigue that I was feeling but clearly Mr. Sickness was the reason why my moderate workout felt more like a semi intense one. Funny how being sick can change how hard something can be. I can still hear some wheezing when I take a deep breath in and the cold air makes me cough not to mention the cold air still drags down my throat like rubbing a rug against the grain. It doesn’t “hurt” but it simply is rough. So I continue to be grateful for what I am able to do and I still refrain from doing two fers or pushing workouts harder because I know I just have to wait and be patient. 3 miles is 3 miles no matter how slow or hard it is and no matter how frustrating it is waiting for it all to just get better. Until tomorrow.
I seriously have a workout gear problem. The minute I see an Ad for new workout clothes I immediately get sidetracked. If I see a friend post something about new workout clothes I find that I can move faster than the Acela getting over to that website to check it out. It’s worse than my pocketbook problem. I don’t have a lot of work clothes in comparison to some ladies and I don’t keep a lot of shoe mates in my closet either but show me some cute outfit for running or going to the gym and I’m immediately drawn to see what they have. I should have been born rich for all the gear that I want.
I’m already working it out in my head on how I can get to this store that I have been made aware of without tipping my husband off that I’m going. I shouldn’t be spending money but I just can’t help myself. I keep deleting all the Sparkle Skirt SALE ad’s because that is as an all time rediculous high when it comes to how many i own. I said I would get just one and now I’m up to 5. I don’t need any more running skirts especially at $75 a pop! It’s a serious problem. If I quit working out it would be just fine but I want the outfits therefore I run and workout as much as possible. OK I don’t do that merely for the outfits but the outfits are a good strong reason why in part I run. Gotta look good even if you don’t look outstanding. I have no intention of ceasing my purchases but for now I have to keep them in check by not writing a check! The colors and netting in strategic sexy places calls me. The prints that are out of this world just sooth me like a siren. The fabric that just makes me forget that I’m fat in places is like a drug that I want more of and let’s face it, when you feel good the thought that you also look sexy as hell (like this picture here which sadly is NOT me but I want it to be!) is alluring and almost irresistable. Sometimes it happens that I break down and buy myself too much stuff and that I don’t have any control over until my conscious self wakes the hell up and stops my maniacal side from doing some serious plastic damage. A girl has to have a vice and mine is workout gear. So sue me! I like spandex!
I almost died. OK, I didn’t really almost die but it FELT like I was dying. Yesterday I went for what would end up either a 1.25 mile run or a 3 mile run. I had to stop every mile, I was tired and my throat, although it did not feel like it was on fire like the week before, had that ‘on the edge of bad things’ feeling. I’m still fighting whatever moved into my head, chest and lungs and although today I feel better than I have in the last 9 days, I’m not 100% yet. I had to sit…no lay down after
I finished my run yesterday. I never feel so tired that I’m literally wiped out after a run. Yesterday I did though. I haven’t been able to really work out and if it weren’t for the two workouts I’ve gotten in I would be really cranky. I am pushing through when I can and all the while waiting for the feel better stage to arrive. It might be tomorrow… I hope anyway. I’m most bothered by being behind in training for my march race but Ive been running long enough to know I’ll catch up. Patience is the name of the game and all my B’s confirmed it for me. You must allow your body to heal or you will be waiting longer and longer to be ready to get back to the grind. Yesterday it was very clear after my run that I must continue waiting just a little longer. And so I wait. Today I am not working out so that tomorrow I may spring into action. The signs were super clear but if you aren’t paying attention you’ll end up working harder. You have to understand what your body is telling you and be patient! Something I’m not good at but am learning more about the longer I work out and the harder I try to stay on top of what good fitness means to me. Although it feels like I’ll never get better, I will and I’ll be at the gym asap before i know it, as long as I’m patient.
I am sick. It’s been a week-ish give or take a day or so since I actually ran seriously. By seriously I mean 3+ miles and sadly that’s only been on the DM. Before that, I’ve lost track of any road running I have done because it’s been weeks since I have been outside. I’ve been relegated to the DM for the winter because it’s been so effing cold out that I can’t / won’t go outside. I did try Saturday because it was wonderfully warm out nearing 50 degrees. Everyone I know was out enjoying the break from the chill. I got about a .33 of a mile and my eyes started swelling, my temperature started rising above where it should be for a warm weather run and my throat felt like someone took a grill brush to it. It was horrible. I had to walk then run then walk some more and I could only manage 1.28 miles before I quit. Yes I quit! I felt horrible and that run showed me just how ill I was and that working out just wasn’t in the plan. Yesterday I did nothing when I should have done 5 miles. I am actually in training for a half marathon in March and this doesn’t do anything to make me feel ready. I know I’ve done lots of them so I’ll be fine but that’s not what I’m thinking right now as my Dayquill wears off. It didn’t really do a lot for me today and only lasted like 2.5 hrs before I started going down hill again. Today it’s the same story because I just am not better yet. I did make it through the day today which I wasn’t sure i would but my head is clogged, I keep sneezing, my ears are itchy and my throat is still scratchy and my cough, although dry now, is still persistent. I could’ve gone to the gym but somehow I don’t think I would have been very productive not to mention that I feel as though that would be asking for trouble and a setback. So here I sit, stewing about not working out nearly like I want to in about a week. I’m nervous that all the work I’ve put in will be gone and I’ll be back at square 1 again….like square 1 -6 years ago. it’s such a bullshit head game! I’m not hungry but I’m trying something called Soylent that one of the girls at work drinks for meal replacements. I wanted to see how full it keeps me, how it tastes and if it’s an option for before the gym after work so there’s something in my stomach to work off. It’s O-K. I don’t think I’m crazy about the soy taste but I don’t usually consume it so I don’t know if it’s kind of yucky or just kind of new. I got 4 flavors so I’ll try the others and hopefully they taste somewhat better than this flavor. For the price of $26 for 4 bottles it better or I won’t be buying any more. Fuck You sickness! You’ve made me drink Soy… did you see The Santa Clause where he drinks the Soy milk? Yeah, it’s kinda like that! Might just be something to get used to…or not. We’ll see. Hopefully by drinking this shit and sitting still tonight I’ll be able to get to the gym tomorrow. I’m starting to go stir crazy here. I know it’s what’s right for my body to recover but my mind is having none of it! This sucks but I’ll do it to get back to normal as quick as I can which better be sooner than later. I hate being sick so bad! So I’ll sit here and work on revising my already revised fitness schedule for the year and be happy with it. Theraflu here I come! Sickness you can just get the fuck out!
I don’t know about any of you but I hate the boys section of the gym. It’s not really a “MENS” section but it’s where all the muscleheads go. I always feel intimidated by them like I don’t belong there or something. No one ever says anything to me but I just feel self conscious like I’m not fit enough to be in there. Well I am now becomming a regular part of that space. I set my new year resolution and I’m determined to keep on track. I also found a super inspirational person to follow besides the red headded wonder. One of the girls I work with who sits in a different office is like the workout queen. Not only is she the workout queen but she works out in the free weight section! What she has done in a year is amazing! I’m sort of addicted to keeping daily tabs on what she’s doing just to see what kind of variety I can put in my targeted muscle workouts. I’m sure she stays at that gym way longer than me. Usually at an hour I’m done but an hour and a half is my max gym tolerance. I got stuff to do ya know? I’m no spring chicken and no one really cares but me. The way I look at it, as long as I am doing something daily, that’s improvement.
I’m finding that sticking to muscle groups is harder than I thought because I was doing a little of everything before or just running. So I’m mixing it up, targeting my 1 hour workouts, eating as much protein as I can fit in without going crazy and getting plenty of rest and drinking enough water most days. This is a well rounded routine for me which makes me happy. Tonight when I looked in the mirror at the gym, and maybe it was just the leggins, I thought my hips looked tighter than before. That alone is worth it. Motivating to keep me pushing throughout the year. I haven’t really moved the scale down the 15 lbs that I want but we all know muscle is heavier than fat …blah blah. Still gonna try to get there without starving myself. One thing at a time. One goal at a time. One day at a time.
So for now I’ll keep watching Miss Nancy on Instagram