Some days it isn’t really motivation that gets you out the door as much as it is just kicking your own ass to get it done no matter what. Today was one of those days. I woosed out of 36 degrees this morning and opted for a Runch. The time came and I was absolutely dreading it. Not one bone in my body wanted to go for a run today and join my brain in the festivities. My brain was the only logical section of me that wanted to go, probably because it would go against the routine to not do so on a day that all body parts had not agreed was a rest day. I hated the thought of running today but knew when lunch came that I was going to kick my ass out into the cold and go because I’m not a quitter. I am not a quitter and I don’t want those around me to think that I am either. you can’t miss my workout bag. It’s not like it’s black or a color that blends in….OH NO! My bag is not only bright orange, it’s camo print bright orange so when I’m going for a workout at lunch everyone knows it when I walk in the door. No getting out of the message I send when I get to work that I am determined and focused to work out. There’s pressure that I intentionally put on myself there so that I don’t in fact wimp out. I have once or twice wimped out and gone home to run or maybe once just not gone at all. Rare is that day now. So I put my feet in motion, changed and practically launched myself outside into the crisp November air. I can’t really complain because it’s warm for November. 46 is a gift and by far not the coldest I’ve ever run in.
Every step I take is begrudging to myself but I settle into what seems like a slow pace just to get it done. I’m familiar with the road I’m on because I run it all the time at lunch. It’s a busy road with a wide side lane that I usually can be found in. Every step is a relief because I’m one step closer to being done. That’s all I want today is to be done. I get to the mile mark a half mile short of my turn around point and my Garmin tells me that I’m on my regular pace. Not quite 9:30 but not 10 either. Not bad for a piss poor attitude on autopilot. At the half way mark I don’t stop except to yank up my pants and turn around. I’m not tired, I just don’t want to be out here. At 2 miles I am still on a decent pace and happy to be on my way back nearly finished and when I’m done I stop my watch and give myself a mental pat on the back for not quitting or turning around before I was done.
Some days even when it’s respectable you just call it done and call it a day. You won’t be into every workout every day and that’s ok but you need the self discipline to get it done on the days when you just feel blah or meh about a workout. Some days you have to take a day off, some days you need to take on and some days you just want one. Accept those days as part of the process of fitness but don’t let them be a regular distraction because that’s how we fall off the wagon and as we know, the wagon is a hard thing to get back on once we fall off. So today is done and I’m happy. Happy that I did it, happy I had the discipline to get out there even with a half hearted attitude. Happy that I can say I did it. Today is done and tomorrow is not yet written. I’ll tackle tomorrow when it gets here, till then…