I am so tired right now from working all weekend on sets. I went from Art Department -froo froo, making it pretty to construction person wielding a screw gun and a drill. Although screwing 3″ nails into 2×4’s isn’t “hard” per se, my body feels like it was at this very moment. Last night I thought I would go for a run this morning but this morning my body informed me it was too tired to run. After some bargaining it agreed that we could do some Tabata but not a full hour which was just fine by me. 49 minutes later and much grumbling through every single exercise, I was done. Can I just tell you how heavy 10lbs feels when you’re tired. VERY! Nonetheless I finished fairly respectably and gave it a good push for what was in my tank. I could have taken a day off and it would have been fine. I could have just ignored the fact that goals don’t happen by themselves but the fact is that goals don’t happen by themselves. They take dedication and consistency even on the days that you don’t feel like doing anything. Today was that day for me. Having pushed myself through a workout makes me feel powerful and gives me that feeling of proven application to back up the words of wisdom when I tell someone that fitness takes sacrifice and dedication. As I have found out in the past, laziness is all too easy to fall back into like the lotophagi who ate the lotus fruits as depicted in Greek Mythology. Laziness used to be my habit until I broke free and took my life back. It’s a temptress that is difficult to break free from if you don’t stay focused. I have bad days where I just can’t get it together to do anything but today isn’t one of them thank goodness! Today is a win for me so we will continue to take it one day at a time making progress, albeit slow progress toward the longest and healthiest life that I can possibly have.
Have you had tough days where you just didn’t think you could motivate yourself? How did you push yourself to get it done?
Today I got up and could barely keep my eyes open. It had rained and I used the possible puddles as an excuse to not run today. I zombied my way through making breakfast and showering and getting to work. I feel like I was in slow motion all day. If there were a fire drill I would probably have been the last one out the door. All day I thought about running and I seriously struggled with having thrown in the towel so easily just because I was what I called exhausted. I played devil’s advocate with myself like I would have with anyone I was encouraging. I reassured myself that rest days are good and necessary for healthy improvement. I know this and I believed it but I just couldn’t put it to rest. I kept thinking about working at my son’s school tonight on play props and how that would keep me from doing something stupid.
Still wasn’t buying it…still felt like I could do something, anything other than resting. It does not feel like my rest day. Tomorrow might but today just didn’t feel that way so I went with my gut. I got home and decided not to go to the school. As I sat outside watching my husband mulch the leaves I just felt like it was a wonderful evening to get a few miles in. When he left I didn’t sit on the couch, I didn’t go to bed, I didn’t eat dinner.
I changed my clothes and slipped on my running shoes and headed out before I could change my mind. I figured it would either go my way OR really poorly and tomorrow I will be paying for it. Good thing it paid off in my favor. Good thing I don’t take excuses and a really good thing that I know when to push myself beyond my mental comfort zone. Running has taught me what my limits are. Running has given me the strength to push my limits and to understand when it is ok and not ok to do so. I love running for so many
reasons. It makes me proud of myself and confident that I can do things I never thought I could. It has saved me and shaped me and has seen me through some pretty shitty times. Running is the greatest teacher, cheapest therapist and most devoted support system. I am so happy to have run that first mile back on 6/27/2011 and that I have not looked back.