Family · Life · Random Thoughts

It’s Only Temporary

its only temporaryI thought for sure I had skirted the “I hate you”, “I can’t wait to leave this house”, “I don’t need you for anything” stage.  I have been lucky enough to not be on the receiving end of this attitude nor the blindly trudging through life winging it without asking for help.  Apparently I am just late to the table because I’m living it now wondering how human beings that we raised from babies could be so selfish and secretive.  It’s not all words, some of it is ignoring the resource they have at their fingertips in us…you know, the old people who have been in their shoes a few times.  The people who have given up everything to make their life as right and as comfortable and as organized as it can be right now.  We do not charge anything to live here, you pretty much can go out whenever you want as long as we know roughly when you’ll be home so we don’t worry about you.  We ask so little in terms of helping out around the house but entitlement and a careless attitude  seems to be the jacket of choice these days.  No permission is actually needed to go anywhere for two of three but it’s just COURTEOUS to let us know where you’ll be and when you’ll be back. We’re entitled to courtesy and honestly you owe it to us.   And as you drive our car and live in our room free of charge it amazes me how you can retort your coming of age “rights” with vicious words and nasty dagger stares like we should be thankful that you are in our presence.  Where did the respect go?  It must have moved out, replaced by assumptions, inconsiderateness and selfishness.  It’s not men and women from venus and mars, it’s kids and parents!  One day we’re on the same page and all is well and the next we’re treated like an old newspaper that really isn’t useful for anything other than wiping your feet on these days.  We’re still taking care of you, feeding you, actively involved in your future and helping you line things up so you can rocket to the moon and achieve your goals which is all we ever wanted for you anyway.  We’re watching your back and steering you clear of pitfalls that we know of or have tried to foresee.  We’re doing research to make sure you don’t drop the ball and that you are knowledgeable about resources and actions that will benefit you 5 years from now.  We do this because we love you.  We don’t want you to fall on your faces and we are trying to make sure you take flight properly as all good parents try to do.  Really, do you even see or hear yourself or don’t you care?

They say it’s only temporary and that they come back around but the wake of hurt and cruelty and ignorance that is being laid down along the path is astounding. The attitude and language that is slung around is abhorrible, uncalled for, mean, rude, cruel and jaw dropping.  I know every kid goes through this stage because I too had my own issues, I just don’t remember that I was so ignorant and callous, maybe I was.   I wish time could stand still long enough for you to see and hear the verbal vomit temper tantrums and blinded decisions that are going on.  I wish you could watch it like a movie so you could get an outside perspective, but that will only come in time.  You actually cannot see it now.  I think that you will not truly know what you put us through until your own wonderful child stands in front of you acting in the same manner with that same “I’m smarter than you and I don’t need you” attitude accompanied by a mouth spewing horrible words and language.  I wish days weren’t being counted down until you can leave us but perhaps it’s good that you are, for all of us.  My hope is that you don’t lose your temper and rush away in haste and anger before you’re ready.  Until recently, thinking about being an empty nester would make me cry, stress me out and make me sad but more and more I think it’s necessary for growth for everyone.

It’s only temporary and a path that most have to travel in this game called life and it’s normal.  I’ll be glad when this part is over and as always, I will pray and run my way through the tough times like I have for the past 1,841 days. Running and praying always make me feel better and both let me know I can make it through.   I am stronger than I imagine and braver than I know.  I have unending endurance and a skin that gets thicker every day.  This too shall pass.  Until then….